@cyanessence talks with @BastionKnight... hopefully!
@BastionKnight hey! I've always wanted to get to know you more. Kiara encouraged me to make this chat, and I thought it was a good idea. I hope you don't mind! I understand if you don't have the time or energy for a chat like this, so just let me know if you're not up for it.
I'm happy to talk about whatever really, I don't always like talking philosophy. Life is incredibly rich and varied, everything is at least a little interesting. I am particularly interested in hearing your story though. What made you so kind? How did you come to write so well? I would be privileged to learn anything about the gracious BK!
@cyanessence
Salutations Cyanessence,
I am honoured that you wish to get to know me, and of course I do not mind. It would be a pleasure to converse with you directly like this. Kiara is certainly a catalyst for good, and a beacon of kindness. It is so sweet of her to constantly strive for others benefit, but I wish her own burdens were less. She certainly deserves a large run of good fortune.
It has been thoroughly interesting as well as heart-warming seeing your presence on the forums increase and flourish. I think maybe you might not hear enough how much of a difference your positivity makes for others. So I shall begin by just simply saying, Go Team Cyanessence.
It is flattering that you believe I am kind and/or that I write well. You are no slouch in either of those departments yourself, so perhaps you are inferring qualities in me which are in fact your own? As to my story, it is not particularly interesting. BK has become what he became over a long time. But if you are truly interested, I wrote a poem a while ago which I posted under the title "A Knight's Code". If you read it, perhaps it will give you an insight into how I view things and the way I act. (Gosh that sounds so much like a personal plug. I assure you that is not the case. It is just I find it difficult to talk directly about myself without resorting to deflection or demurring. I have an rabid aversion to anything I feel would be self promotion or selfishness on my part. If it comes across as infuriating, I do apologise in advance).
It still tickles me that you feel I write well. It is a great compliment, but I do not feel I write particularly eloquently. I just try to be polite, be mindful of what I say, and always try to put myself in another person's shoes. I think that is what all of us do really, so I don't think I am that different.
But what about Cyanessence? The sort of ideas and ideals you propose in your writing does not seem like the run-of-the-mill self awareness. It feels like something developed with purpose, maybe even hard won. What made Cyanessence the person he is? Where does he wish to be (in all senses)? And why is he here on Cups (something we are all very pleased about I hasten to add). I fully understand if any or all of those questions are problematic, and would never pry nor wish you to feel uncomfortable. If you would prefer, I am equally enthusiastic to simply know the less 'Big' questions; What sort of things do you enjoy? What brings a smile fastest to your face? Do you have a favourite cuisine, hobby, music style, or terrain type...whatever facet you wish to share.
Once again, thank you for starting this pen-pal chat. It is appreciated.
@BastionKnight
Kiara's kindness leaves me feeling there are words yet to be created that describe it. I don't know if you can tell but she really left an impression on me! It was her that introduced me to the concept of pen pal chats, and since then I've enjoyed connecting with others in a similar way (I need to get back to Torean!) I do wish Kiara's burdens were less too, she has endured more than enough.
I never aimed for recognition. I really just wanted to spread a little positivity, gently, kindly, and truthfully, and give people confidence in their own thinking ability. But I will not deny: your recognition boosts my confidence! I am on your team BK!
I myself want to be kinder and write with more grace. So when I notice those qualities in others it piques my interest. Have no doubt: I believe you exude such qualities! You ask interesting questions which demonstrates your curiosity in the other, using perfect words, while giving ample room to dodge without guilt. It is eloquent and thoughtful, almost poetic. I will check out "A Knight's Code" after this! I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing that with me, I don't want to feel like I'm prying. Just genuinely curious! How one could ever perceive you as infuriating baffles me. I have a few poems up, they're fun to write!
Perhaps we should consider what eloquent writing is. For, to me, it *is* rooted in mindfulness. It takes into consideration the other, while being true to the self. I don't think that necessarily means being particularly wordy. And I think this place is bursting with eloquent writers! The thousandth rose is no less sweet than the first, and brings something new to the table.
I believe in time you will find I am very simple. My ideas are based on one thing: my belief that reason exists in much the same way as time, and that their interaction causes what we see. The idea that reason exists in this way is not new, although I wish I'd have read about it sooner. I came to believe it on my own. I'm actually guilty of ignorance... I did study philosophy for a year, but there's a great deal I have simply missed!
I wish for little. I just hope to be light in this world for I have seen too much darkness. If I can help even in a small way, I would be overjoyed.
I'm here on 7 Cups partly to help, but also to be helped. My mental health has been historically bad, and it's only in the last 3 months that it's been good. So I want to maintain my health! I need others to help me see if I'm being odd, if I stop making sense. And just generally process my emotions.
I enjoy walks in the sun, a cup of coffee in the morning, birds and cats (will they ever unite?), Lego, origami, and occasionally games. I'm trying to read more for many reasons. And I'm liking new experiences as I've spent far too long underground. Helping is what makes me smile most! Pizza is probably my favourite as it is so versatile, and still shines in simplicity. My music taste has expanded to include most genres, it's hard to land on a preferred style. I use music to reflect how I feel, and I'm a bit all over the place. Cicada Days by Will Wood and Saturn by Sleeping At Last are among my favourites. I like big, open fields brimming with nature, even if it's just simple grass. Bodies of water are most welcome.
I ask you all the same questions, but am particularly interested in songs that speak to you!
I'm sorry this got long. No pressure to write at length, sometimes less really is more.
Have a good one friend ^^
@cyanessence
Hello Cyanessence,
I hope you will forgive my belated reply. Real world distractions have meant I did not get a chance to sit down to write much until now.
I thought your discussion on eloquence was very thoughtful, and I am in complete agreement that it need not involve complex language. I think there is a difference between an extensive vocabulary and eloquence. Eloquence conveys not only intellectual concepts in a manner that can be easily understood but also emotional depth that others can identify with and understand, even if the topic itself is not something they necessarily have strong opinions or emotions towards. It is a skill to convey it in a manner which appears effortless. I think you definitely embody this. I do not think I necessarily do, but It is something I hope I will continue to develop as time goes on. And I very much agree that these forums are chock-full of such writers. Sometimes someone can deliver more meaning in a brief sentence than an entire essay can bestow.
It does not surprise me that you studied Philosophy for a time. You seem to have an analytical and self reflective approach that meshes well with the idea of a philosophical thinker. I hope it has furnished you with some tools that you can apply to your own mental explorations.
It is uplifting to here that you use Cups as a form of processing as well as maintenance of equilibrium. I notice though that you are very quick to depreciate your worth against that of others and to warn of flaws that I am not so sure are truly reflective of you. I do not get the impression it is false modesty on your part, but rather it feels more like a defence...don't raise yourself too high in case you are knocked down. I hope we can help alleviate that and show you that you are much more than you give yourself credit for. Maybe I am misreading the situation or reading things in from over anaylzing. If so, just grin and chuckle.
You interests seem very peaceful. (Go team you on keeping Lego as a pastime. Creativity, logic, art, AND keeping the inner child alive...i very much am in favour). When you mention games, do you mean like board games? parlour games? sport games? video games? Maybe all or none? (I am curious).
I am not familiar with Will Wood or Sleeping at Last, so i shall have to check them out.
I will definitely get back to you with some answers of my own, and a little list o' songs that speak to me soon.
Take care buddy.
@BastionKnight
Totally forgiven BK! I was absent for a time myself. One cannot live exclusively online (although I have known some who try!) Life beckons.
You so eloquently described my feelings on eloquent writing! I totally agree, the right sentence can convey more than an entire book could sometimes. An epiphany brings about profound simplicity. Of course there is great value in writing at length, in using complex words. It is all part of balance.
I wish I could remember all I learned in philosophy! It did teach my subconscious though. By having thought deeply, I can return to such depths. Like stretching, one can be more flexible over time. I do have another short philosophical piece I could post, but I feel it's a little controversial... it is just my subjective truth, and I end by encouraging opposing views and original thought.
I do struggle with my self-worth. It is much better than it has been, but I do worry I am not worth much. I do remind myself I would never think someone worthless. That even though some of us are lost in darkness, each one of us has great potential just waiting to be realised. I have been much happier since I've been expressing myself here, but I felt I was too present! I saw too much of myself in Poetry and Reading and Writing, so I stepped back. I have written more poetry and short stories, but if I share it all, I fear I will overwhelm.
I love board games and video games the most. I love fighting together against great evil, finding treasures along the way.
A little motivational piece I did that I should probably reflect more on, titled "Matter."
No matter the picture you take, it means something, even if it’s blank.
No matter the sentence, there is reason. “What do you mean?” is never treason.
No matter the path you take, you have purpose, nothing is without sake.
No matter the matter, it matters. It is sacred, it factors.
Take care friend!
@cyanessence
So sorry I have not replied sooner. I am currently away from home and my internet access is spotty to say the least. Please do not feel you have been forgotten,...I am just trying to respond where I can before the inevitable drop in signal makes what I was writing disappear. I will be back in a little under a week, so hopefully I can start playing catch-up then.
I shall speak to you again soon. Until then, keep being awesome.
@BastionKnight
No need to apologise! I will be here when you're back.
@cyanessence
*Smiles*
Very much appreciated.
@BastionKnight
Dear Cyanessence,
Please forgive my extended silence. I must apologise that I had forgotten to get back to you after my sojourn from home and then got caught up with every day guff and lost track of our penpal chats. I do hope you did not take offence, as it was honest absent-mindedness and not meant as a snub.
How have you been? I know that is a trite four words, but it is meant with genuine curiosity. As you always speak with such open minded positivity, I am hoping that events in your life are coming together in such a way as to make all that kindness and empathy pay off for you.
I also hope you have not been offended that I have offered little in the way in comments or responses to the things you have written. All I can offer in explanation is that my own light is at a low ebb at the moment and I am struggling to bring the embers back to life. It is no excuse, and I will of course strive to be better and more attentive. I just wanted you to know it was not because i valued your contributions any less.
So what has been happening in your neck of the woods Cyanessence? I am hungry for details and my curiosity is bibbed and banging the cutlery on the table in anticipation. *Grins*
I hope this letter finds you well, and if you get a chance to reply at any point that would be grand. Have a great week, and keep being awesome.
@BastionKnight
Hey, all good! I too had life things happen. I experienced writer's block and emotional burn out, but I'm back on track now.
I forget from time to time. It's never meant personally, so I understand. The every day ostensibly needs attendance from time to time, and I believe it pays to live a rich and varied life, which includes the mundane and the fantastical and everything in between. So, no offence taken haha. You do you.
"How have you been?" can be quite a weighty question, and I love that there's more than one interpretation.
I'm thinking you mean to ask how I've been in the common sense. I've been quite good recently! It has been up and down as usual, but mostly up. Now that I'm writing again, I feel happy and content. It's touching that you ask how I've been. It means a lot to me. How have you been?
I think there is also an answer to the question of how one has been in the philosophical sense. There should be an answer, right? I like thinking about that kind of thing.
Kindness and empathy feel their own reward. To see the positive in the other is to see more beauty in the world, and to better someone's day is to take the painting of life, add your mark to it, and increase its value. But, life has been kind regardless. I seem to have what I need ^^
I never want people to feel they're obligated to read my comments in any given time frame, or reply in any particular way. There are many ways one could respond, if at all, and I trust there is no malice in your behaviour.
I've written two more short stories, some poems, and some reflections. I'm happy to share some with you if you like.
I've been thinking a lot I guess. There seems a lot of unanswered questions, but then many ways to answer them.
It's good to hear from you! I'm sorry I'm not more consistent. I seem to work in cycles.
@cyanessence
Salutations Cyanessence,
It was really good to hear from you again and I am happy to hear you feel you are over your writers block.
I love the fact that you looked so deeply in to the 'how have you been' question. Too often it is a phrase people use as a mere platitude or a segue into talking about something they want to talk about, so I like the fact that you took the time to contemplate it on a deeper level. Whilst I am pleased to hear your peaks have been more prevalent than your troughs, it is still something that I hope has not been getting you down. Again, going back to the fact of how people converse...more ups than downs can at times be the same as the blanket 'fine', and used when it isnt true but because people feel pressured under social convention to show a face to the wider world that is unobtrusive and non demanding. Too frequently it seems that many feel compelled to answer that way. I guess because they do not want to burden others, or they feel being truthful will not go over well, or that it would mean a loss of face or ridicule. I think it often especially is the case for gentlemen, as there is a lot of unspoken pressure to conform to a certain male ideal...be brave and suck it up sort of thing.
Anywho, I am going off on a tangent somewhat. I just would like you to know that if something ever is bothering you, do not hesitate to speak up with me if you wished to.
Back to your point on the philosophical nature of how have you been. Is there truly a right answer do you think? I certainly agree with you that kindness and empathy are a goal in and of themselves. But is there an objective correctness to being? I guess if one takes a Kantian standpoint one could argue that there is, and one that is sort of measurable (albeit in a very subjective way). I am not sure I subscribe to a notion of there existing a right way of being...not because I have any strong argument against that position, but more just because I have not found something yet which convinces me there is something universally aspirational in regards to how one simply IS. Maybe we do not even need there to be a good way to be. Perhaps the very idea of aspiring to a better self/way/path/etc is a movement along that proverbial route to a more 'enlightened' or improved state of being...a platonic ideal of a correct path that is the sum of all possible best ways rolled into one in a way that could not really exist in the real world. Then maybe, as such it is more important to strive for rather than achieve...the journey becoming the end in itself. Hmm...who knows, or maybe it's just chocolate rice crispy cakes....yup, that sounds like the best way to be...sweet, pleasant, and filled with chocolatey goodness.
I would love to read your short stories, so share away mon amie. And I am intrigued to hear what some of these unanswered questions you have been contemplating are.
Fret not about consistency: Never has a poet complained that the foam on the cresting wave is not more regular. So to borrow your own words, "you do you". *Smiles*
@BastionKnight
Your words are more uplifting than you know, not just for their surface level content, but for how they speak to my inner thoughts. They reflect an optimism that is rare, glimmering on the water. You're not trying to force a perspective to take form, but rather considering the possibility that one could.
We live in a world full of uncertainty. At first, the mysteries were fascinating. But even the unknown grows dull over time. When uncertainty becomes boring, the only thing left to do is to know.
The questions we ask carry more meaning than we know. To ask: how's it going? Is the ultimate philosopher's puzzle. How does everything work? It carries its usual meaning, but the subconscious mind never forgets. It would like to know the secret of things.
The quest for understanding seems long and frought with danger. While insight seems to improve our world, as your insight has improved me, knowledge seems not wholly good. Because when one thinks they know the way of things but has not overcome their ignorance, then power rears its ugly head, and destruction follows.
When honesty and reason collide, the insight is not forced, but emergent. A natural flowing state is achieved, and words seem to put themselves together.
The key is reason, but the simplicity of that declaration often eludes immediate understanding. We think things complex, so simple truths don't land in the right spot. Like a stone thrown onto a pond, the information is already known, but it sinks to the depths.
I will think of a story to share with you. I'm glad people are enjoying them, it really makes my day. It is fun ^^
@cyanessence
Hello Cyanessence,
Thank you for your latest messages, they are interesting and thought provoking as ever. I admire how you try to expand upon even simple ideas and look for elements of truth within even the most smallest of details. Your epistemological arguments and ontological outlook are cogent and eloquent. Yet you deliver such ideas with a simplified and accessible 'mode of speech' (for want of a better term). That is a talent.
It makes me curious though. Why is it you seem compelled to seek understanding or definition? Your story (thank you for sharing it by the way, it was a very evocative piece) seems to reflect quit a lot about self perception and personal experience. I think even if you had not sated that it was close to your heart, I would have presumed it held significance to you. It always feels like you are both effulgent with your emotions as well as offering a demured attitude towards those same feelings. It almost feels like those very same swirls of emotional expression are defences...a bit like hiding a message behind a louder noise.
Perhaps I am misreading things, and it is just you natural curiosity and penchant for wanting to know. You have certainly expressed a philosophical attitude and desire to remain open minded. Yet, like with your story and your message, there are words and phrases that hint that maybe that is not the entire picture. It is reminiscent of things I might assume to hear from someone who has seen too much or too soon, or that has experience or knowledge they wished they did not. But like I said, that may very well just be my own flawed perceptions. After all, it is difficult sometimes to really gauge tone and intent in an online format. Needless to say, your letters and posts are always interesting.
@BastionKnight
This is the first time I've shared this story. It's close to my heart. I hope you enjoy it ^^
The Thunder
Another sleepless night, listening to the dull roar of the thunder that tears asunder every assumption upon which I rest.
The sound won’t ever cease, leaving me lingering on another lie. The reason why I don’t mind is because I find myself reformed. The rock that bore my form melts away, warming the pulse of each day.
My tears are my shield from the weathering storm, tracing thought to feeling, comfort in mourning. While the rain can reflect my pain, it is nothing compared to what I see when I stare at tragedy.
From atop this peak, I speak only so that I may find my way down. I need help to see the mountain from the valley below, before my thoughts become slow. There’s only so much to say about a sun in the clouds, with thunder drumming a beat of wonder.
I guess I hope to see a rainbow, once all is clear. Then I’d have stood near bliss manifest, rewarded for enduring this bizarre test.
Alas, the things I hear, I fear, will never be heard. So I scream to the void, annoyed and content that I wish I wanted more.
@cyanessence
Evocative...very evocative. Sad, but not from melancholy...more a state of ennui that seems to threaten to snuff out awe. Your prose are very poetic in their imagery, and your language choices are surprisingly oblique compared to your discussions and messages. I enjoyed it.