Obsessive dislike for someone
I feel so silly for asking this, but is it possible to have a heavy and unexplainable dislike towards someone? I feel awful because he is a friend of my friends (technically he is supposed to be my friend). I can't even be with my friends because he is always there. I want the thoughts to stop, but they won't. Do someone have an advice for this? Sorry and thank you in advance
@Emmiistrying
Hi Emmi--what you've described makes sense to me. You have a really strong dislike for this person, though you're not exactly sure why. It's inconvenient to feel that way and you wish you didn't have those feelings because it makes it really hard to be around your friends. So you'd like this feeling/thought to go away, but you haven't been able to make that happen.
One reaction I have is I wonder if maybe deep down, there might be some reason for not liking this person. Like maybe it isn't obvious, but if you were to think about it further, something might pop up where it'll feel like, "Yeah, I guess it makes sense that I don't like them."
Something else that comes to mind is just related to obsessive thoughts in general. (I'm not sure if it's necessarily relevant to you, but just throwing it out there.) With other people who have obsessive thoughts, sometimes it'll happen that there's a fear of this thought, a strong desire to make it go away, and a sort of continuous checking to see whether or not the thought is there. And all of that can sort of backfire and actually cause the thought to become stronger and occur more often. Like giving so much attention to the thought and considering it a big problem ends up giving it more energy/strength. So, one approach that can sometimes help people is mindful acceptance (i.e. noticing the thought without trying to make it go away).
https://www.verywellmind.com/thought-suppression-and-ocd-2510480
If you'd like to chat about the situation some more, you're welcome to schedule a chat with me.