A Place for Supporters: Share Your Story

Hi dear Lee!

thank you for starting this thread. I am a 43yo architect and art curator. Mother of three healthy, wonderful children (aged 3 to 10). Wife of the most generous, kind and loving man on earth. We live in his birth country (a culture that, although I was familiarized with, couldn't be more different than mine. Or, may be is better to say: it couldn't been more clashing with myself). I have a lovely house restored and decorated by me. We travel a lot, both for business and pleasure. I am successful, recognized and highly appreciated in my work field. And I have achieved huge things, like the publication of books or having organized exhibitions and symposiums around the world! I speak 5 languages (my children 3)... I'm far from being a beauty but the love of my husband (and other past loves) has convinced me that I am not ugly! We even have two charming cats. I have what sounds like a perfect life (except for the fact that I have battled Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and Fibromyalgia for almost 30 years)!

However, aside from my physical ilness, I have felt hat there was something wrong for almost my entire life. I remember having been a happy child and one day everything changed and I was not happy anymore. I felt things so intensely; I reacted equally; I lived in panic (of countless things... the main was the fer to loose the people I love); tried to control everything around me. I grew up growing that everything I did or was was wrong. I always thought that, as my mother said I was a broken good; broken beyond repair. I ould never believe or trust when other (such as my husband) would tell me that they loved me just how I was. By now, I know where the 'damage' comes from (and I am still processing the terrible, sad story and mourning for the person that was lost growing up in what I now see as a very unhealthy environment).

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and been together for 11. Things have not been easy for me or for him... because of me. There was in deed something wrong with me after all. After living 8 years in a cold, gray country, full of cold, gray people, I started to become depressed. And in the last two years. our family went trough really serious health problems. So, what I now recognize as living in a permanent sate of anxiety through my entire life, I started developing a permanent state of panic.

That brought the worst on me. Huge, escalating fights with my husband; who couldn't understand my pain or help me sooth it, as much as he tried. I masked my pain with anger and all he could see was a terribly angry woman. I ended up with a major crisis (something totally out of character in me): I smashed two laptops, my husband's eyeglasses, I threatened to leave, threatened him if he left. It was a horrible episode. I wanted to die. I even took a high dosis of sleeping pills.

But I know I couldn't die. I adore my husband; and my children are everything for me. I would not allow them to grow under the shadow of a mother who killed herself or with the horrible person that I sometimes became So I know I had to do something. I started to research anger, in order to try to understand what was wrong with me. I came upon BPD and so many things just clicked.

A few weeks ago I asked the analyst who was treating me for depression to make an evaluation of BPD, as I explained my reasons why I believe I could suffer frm this. After days of tests and weeks waiting for the result, we learnt that I have: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and some BPD traits. I may sound crazy (though I'm used to it), but instead of feeling that I was being 'labeled' with a bunch of mental disorders or getting scared of being diagnosed such things, the diagnosis came s a huge relief for me.

I was not essentially a bd person. And I may be broken. But not without repair. I believe strongly in the science of psychology. And, after having seen the treatment alternatives for my case (BCT, DCT, SEPPS) i knew that it was my thing. As I told my analyst: 'I need to understand the problem in order to solve it. I understand it now. And programs like DCT of STEPPS are my thing. You just give me a manual and I will build you an airplane'. I will start with the entire STEPPS program, a Minfulness program and relations therapy next week.

The work looks daunting! And I'm scared. But I have started to apply some of the exercises and see that they do work. My husband is also by my side and my children are my motor. So I am scared and still feel a bit lonely i this journey. But I know what such a strong woman I am and how perseverant. And, above all, how much I want to enjoy the privileges I have been given in life and to make my family happy.

It would make me really happy to meet and be in contact with someone who is also in this boat.

Stay strong,

Valeria

I didn't know where to put this story but I thought this might be most appropriate.

I just went out with a friend for second time. I live far so she initially wanted me to sleep over. We went to a loft party and had a drink. Then she wanted to smoke a joint. So far OK but she's being a little weird, then she tells me she drank half a bottle of wine and MDMA before coming. I'm open minded, so I figure so long as she can handle herself. The music was good and good party.

But, no. She can't handle herself. Unable to dance, talking incoherently about how she may or may not have broken up with boyfriend. Paranoid about jacket and generally being a princess. So she wants me to go home with her. It's midnight. Early enough to go home.

At first, I'm like maybe she needs support, what if she has a bad trip, surely this is just really bad day for her. But then I'm like, no. I don't feel like baby-sitting her. It's not my problem. Besides, the party was great and I'm only leaving because of her and I'm not enjoying her company. I had smoked some of the weed and she was killing my vibe.

So I put her in a cab and I'm on my way home to invent some fantastic snack snd watch Sherlock. I'm really proud of myself and i think its best for her too: is she bad trips alone best to learn her lesson, besides she has a roommate. If she passes out why be reminded of it next morning with my face?

So there it is folks! I have a habit if taking care of people to the point if neglecting myself and

Hi, I want to share my story too.. Im 4o years, father of two childs. 2 years ago I have experienced a anxiety abd depression period in my life. At that moment I hade everythink in my life, bud I was still unhappy and downfeelings. One night during my fights with bad feeling I have start to think how it is possibele this situation to come to me. So I decided to learn about psychology and changes during the life. I have invested in learning, Neuro Linguistic Programing, Emotional Literacy, Psychology. I realised that my thinking pattern was wrong. I have experienced a lot of changes, I have never dreamed before that I will study psychology and psychotherapy and to give support to people, since my background was economy at that moment. With every changes Im happier now to help people to find the good things in the life. Thanks to 7 cups team which enables to all to share their stories

For almost the entirety of my marriage, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. At times I wondered if I was incapable of loving my wife the way she wanted or needed to be loved, but no matter what I tried to do, the bar kept being raised higher and higher. It's like, no matter what I did, I was unable to keep up. First, I would do all kinds of romantic gestures, dance in the rain, buying her jewelry, and flirt like crazy, and she'd accuse me of trying too hard, of being clingy. Then, I'd let her make her own decisions. I'd be there for her, still try and balance things out, but she'd accuse me of being too distant and not caring for her. It seemed like this ridiculous list of demands. And often it would throw me for endless loops to the point I'd just get exhausted. I just began to assume for almost two decades that it was something I wasn't doing right.

According to our therapist, it turns out my wife may suffer from BPD, which would explain the intense mood swings, the often irrational arguments she'd get us into. We have just begun to explore this, and I have no idea how to approach it. I have no idea how she will react to the news that she may in fact suffer from this. But I have been reading resources on it, and I want her to know that I support her through whatever this looks like, whatever therapy looks like.

Thanks for providing this thread for support not only for those suffering from BPD, but for those of us who care for them.