About to lose a friendship.
I met this kid on tinder and we never dated or anything but we became good friends. We have the same interest and even booked a trip together in March. I have feelings for him but I put them aside because our friendship is more important to me than just some crush. However, I get upset when he cancels plans or doesnt text me back and stuff and we are now in our second big fight and he says he needs space. Im so bad at giving space. Im afraid hes never gonna talk to me again if I give him space. Ive been blowing up his phone and he hasnt been answering but he hasnt blocked or deleted me off social media either. I really think he just wants space but what if Im wrong. What if I lose him? I dont know what to do. Im trying to stay busy but its not helping. I deactivated all my social medias to distance myself and try to focus on my mental health but its so hard. I feel like I wanna die. I dont know how to cope with this. I lash out and tell him I dont deserve this and I cant do this but then 10 minutes later Im texting him Im sorry and I hope we can work It out. My mind is all over the place and its destroying me.
@Michellesflyy Thank you for sharing. It sounds like your friendship is taking strain. I would like to encourage you though to be very very careful with tinder and people you haven't met just yet. Stay safe at all times. Any social media platforms you should always be careful. That being said, I encourage you to give your friend space and to put boundaries in place. Like messaging them once a day or something like that and trying to do other things to keep your mind busy. Some people do just need space. However for some of us it can be hard to give them that space. I hope that helps. 💓
@Cathlisa thank you for the reply. Yes I will be safe with meeting people online. And Im giving him space but its just very hard to keep myself busy. All I do is sleep to make the days go by faster.
@Michellesflyy it takes time to be able to keep busy. Allow yourself to be sad but then allow yourself to be happy 💓 try draw ,write, listen to new music , find some new games to play, pet an animal, watch funny YouTube videos . Keep on trying to be busy . It takes time to heal. 💓
I've been on the opposite side of a friendship like this and I hope I can help you gain some perspective. Even though I cared about the other person, they were draining me out. I needed space a number of times because it was just too much dealing with a dependent friend (I'm not saying you are) and other things going on in my life, and he was not giving me it. I did care about him, but maybe he couldn't see/believe/trust that I had other things going on, and since we were really close, our fights were always overwhelming to me. Maybe that's the case with your friend.
Caring about others is great, being afraid of losing him is only normal but caring about yourself is more important, especially now. Give yourself all the attention, love, security, appreciation and warmth you need. He needs to be an additional - although important - source of those things, not the main one. I know this requires a lot of work but it's very possible and will serve you good for life. Take sometime off every day and see how you can practice self-love.
