BPD and Me
It's really hard for me at the moment to give myself the help I need... It feels like at the moment I keep losing in a battle that I will never win at, it's just backwards and forwards and full of ups and downs but I can't get a grip of them at all...
A close friend of mine that I met in hospital (after a suicide attempt) and who looked out for me the past 7-8 months, passed away last Monday and just the evening before she told the nursing staff that she loved me as if I was her own daughter... but now I can't help but think that now I've been a fuck up to two Mothers...
I feel as if my voices are winning at the moment, with deaths an anniversarys of friends that have passed over, I guess I'm here looking for some advice on how I can get through this time as best as possible as I'm really starting to struggle badly at the moment... I've tried talking to my workers but it's no good they tell me to distract myself an draw but then tell me off for making a mess with my art stuff out 😔 and then I've got my friend funeral, just wanna be able to get through the funeral at least without freaking out or harming myself before or after the event... Last funeral I went to cost my 37stitches internal external...
Please if you have any advice will be greatly received... Even if it's just to get me through the funeral on Thursday...
@Finnleyjay
Hello there! I'm sorry you're going through a low right now. I'm working on getting better from a two year low so I know what its like to be up and down and back and forth, especially because at my best I had 3 jobs and just a few months ago I was too emotional for even one job. So my advice for the ups and downs is to judge each day in comparison to your worst, if on your worst day you couldn't get out of bed, any other day you manage to get up is progress and even if you slip up after a few days of getting out of bed thats okay because you made progress and you can't take that away. Just don't forget to be proud, thats something I struggle with a lot. Even just getting out of bed for the day is worth acknowledging in my book so right down each time you succesfully get out of bed and be proud of yourself!
I'm really new to the idea of overcoming borderline symptoms so I wish I had more to offer and hope soon I will.
Much love
feel free to message me
Torin :)
Thank you so much for your kind words @Torin once I kept a journal of things but came across it on one of my bad days ripped it up...
I hated myself for doing it but felt better for doing it at the same time... 😔
