BPD ex Broke Up With Me
I am writing this because I am extremely hurt after this long rollercoaster ride. After almost 5 times where she decided to breakup and then come back regretful, finally she did it again. I had nothing but love for this girl, I gave her more than I gave anyone in my life. Did my best to be supportive & understanding, I loved her with all of my heart. At first everything was perfect, everything I ever dreamed of. Then started with the sudden flips, pushing me away, then getting closer again, and it went on and on, when I didn't really do anything deserving of it, I tried to hear her side of the story and always held space for her.
What baffles me the most, is how easy she is moving on since day 1 of breaking up with me, already pursuing other partners all the happy posts. It's like everything we had was nothing to her, and she just dropped me like that after almost 2 years together. How can she move on so easy? How can someone who just told you they love you and was dreaming of a future with you, suddenly break your heart that way and tell you they don't feel the same way anymore. I do respect her decision and I've kept my distance. However, now I am struggling with all those conflicting things she had told me, and going from loving me to wanting to leave me. She wanted to remain friends but I couldn't because I am really hurt and don't have it in me to trust her again. This was the only time I told her I shouldn't have trusted her again or took her back.
Hi there @Talk2me88, firstly I would like to warmly welcome you here. I am glad you have joined 7Cups and found our sub-community, I hope you will like being here and find this a supportive experience.
I am really sorry to hear about your break-up. Your relationship with your ex sounds like a very difficult one, you seemed to have suffered a lot and you still are. It sounds like you did everything you could to offer her your support and love, you proved to be very understanding of her condition. What she did - saying that she loved you and then suddenly changing her mind - sounds a lot as splitting, which is a defense mechanism for people suffering from BPD. I get how painful it must feel for you.
I think it is very positive that you are focusing on what is best for you. You recognize being very hurt and you say that remaining friends would not help you. I am proud of you for doing what feels the right thing for your wellbeing, and I want to say that I understand how difficult this may be for you because you certainly still have feelings for her. If you would like to talk some more about how you are feeling, I'd be happy to listen to you.
@sunflower2480 I really appreciate every word you said. And yes, I would love it if we talked some more, as it is so hard to process all of this, quarantined and alone. How can I get in touch?
@Talk2me88 you can send me a pm 