Can't Grow Up...?
Does anyone else with BPD / BPD traits have a hard time acting like an adult? I feel very small most of the time... like a five year old in an adult body. I can't really handle "adult" things on my own– like paying bills, going to the store, or even talking to people on a regular basis.
I can't even drive because I feel trapped. I don't feel like I belong in this body at all. I feel like I should be back in my old childhood bedroom, being taken care of by my younger parents...
Can anyone relate? :(
@GrayscaleReverie You're definitely not alone here! I have a difficult time "adulting" too. I become easily overwhelmed when dealing with pretty much anything. I don't even like to do basic things like looking at my bank account or checking my mail. I have a tendency to put those kinds of things off until the last possible minute because I don't feel like I'm able to cope well with responsibility of any sort. I feel emotionally stunted or something, at the very least.
@GrayscaleReverie As I've made progress with my disorder I feel this way less and less. A lot of people feel this way, I've seen popular videos from a therapist on YouTube that talks about it (I don't follow her advice but it's clear a lot of people are looking for help with this issue).
I will always remain a little boy. My first trauma was being forced not to be a kid anymore. I like childhood because of its freedom, of its immagination and constant play. We work to live not live to work. I did not chose to be born in this world, i will always remain a child at heart. And I could "act" to be very mature and responsible and pay bills but it made me unhappy...it is a sign of dee depression not wanting to do basic chores or take self care...it is not "lazyness" nor "procrastination", it is simple deep depression when you stop caring about anything at all, stop doing anything...there was a study which found out in fact it is a virus responsible for "lethargy". Going back to the subject i am always going to remain a kid till the end, my child spirit can't be broken, just made to suffer and be unhappy continuously...at all times in our lives we seek for security and happyness. Without "safe", without "free", without "love" there is little chance for "happyness" i relate tuyou🤗😊kids forever😉😎
And i like reveries too😉, dreaming is the gift of an eternal child. Noone can take that from us, we dream when it is hard or we do not like the place we are in. We are dremers reverie🤗
@GrayscaleReverie
You took the words straight out of my mouth. I still feel the same as I was at age 10-11. Despite being 20, I'm not attracted to adults and I can't adjust to adulthood. I'm very dependant on others and still immature. I don't think I've progressed at all since I was 10-11 and I truly believe that. I doubt my own body.
