Disassociating for multiple days
I've not had this happen before to where it feels like I'm a bystander in my own body for more than just a day or a couple hours. It has been 4 days now. I haven't felt anything in so long..
I'm trapped in this mind and am being forced to watch somebody else go through the motions of the day. I have to listen to thoughts that aren't mine. Then, I have my own thoughts and observations about this other person.
I've never experienced this level and length of dissociation. It's causing issues for me mentally and physically at this point.
I have tried different grounding techniques that my therapist showed me and nothing seems to be working.
@decisivelyHidden Hey, I think I go through this as well. I align with a lot of BPD traits but unfortunately don't have the money to see a therapist/psychologist in person for a proper diagnosis or treatment. I'm so sorry you're dealing with dissociation and especially for so long. For me, it can be really tough to keep track of the days so it's good you've got enough headspace to do at least that.
As far as grounding techniques, would you be able to share them with me here? They might not be helping you now, but maybe explaining/teaching them to someone else will help you learn them better.
Dissociating is scary. Its impressive you have such awareness of what is going on! You sound very insightful. Im glad you have a therapist to help you work through this. When I was experiencing severe dissociation I didnt have anyone who understood it. My therapist tried to be helpful but it wasnt quite enough support and I kept ending up in the hospital because I would do stuff while I was dissociated that would harm me and then in the hospital they kept telling me the things I did while I was dissociated were Behavioral and basically just punished me. It was awful. When things started to settle down a bit we were able to realize that the dissociation was being caused by a lot of paranoid thinking that I had no control over. Getting on an antipsychotic helped my paranoid thinking and helped the dissociation.
I hopethings are better for you now since this post post was quite a while ago
@decisivelyHidden
@InvaderStitch
What has your experience on the antipsychotic been like? I struggle with dissociation and constant paranoid feelings and thoughts and I worry that my therapist may recommend one, I'm so opposed to taking any medications and I try everything I can before that, I have a really hard time taking anything. I worry if it is recommended that I won't take it anyway out of my fear of medications. Has is been overall good for you?
@hopestan94
I've had good luck with it. If you're not currently on any medication I doubt they would start with an antipsychotic. It took years to find a combination of meds that work for me. I can understand your hesitancy with medication. If they talk to you about taking them just be honest with how you feel about it.
@InvaderStitch Oh yeah they aren't going to-But when my therapist has brought it up before it triggers me into dissociating so I'm just not a fan of even thinking about the possibility.
@decisivelyHidden I've been having this badly lately too. Mine is a bit different where it's almost like amnesia, I know I was doing something, but there is no memory. It's like waking up from a dream but your recall fades away so quickly until the only thing you can remember is the fact that you had a dream. I also feel it sometimes similar to what you feel but I call mine "sinking" because it's like sinking deep into myself like a turtle into it's shell and it sounds like when you put you ears underwater and someone tried to talk to you. I'm sorry it is happening to strongly with you right now, I hope it gets better. The grounding stuff doesn't help me as much either, I have to go do something very stimulating-something that engages my mind and my body so I try to go to the gym when I feel it's really bad. But I have to choose things that are super repetitive or I'll slip right back into it. Circuits are good for that since you change it up every 30 seconds or so and sometimes just one run through a circuit can help me be back on track for several hours. Something about really feeling the effects on my physical body I think really keep me from slipping out of it.
@hopestan94
That reflects some of my experiences and effective techniques. Moving forms of grounding can work, particularly if I can feel the underlying shame. Eg even getting a cup of coffee made in a plunger (takes a few minutes and cant be hurried and has enjoyable anticipation embedded) and holding and drinking it can be helpful to me. But it doesn't help with that ongoing kind of fugue state. Tai Chi and the trauma sensitive yoga I go to are by far and away the best for me and bringing me safely back int my body and letting me experience safely the emotion that the dissociation is avoiding.
@decisivelyHidden
Are you out of this now? I hope so.
I do a lot of dissociating but normally not the kind you describe. However after the death of my husband I went through a lengthy period of such complete out of body experince. Many people do. It lasted about a week I think. I did manage to function, I had to, there was a housefull of people. The whole world was out of time with me and people were going on with their ordinary lives oblivious to the major catastophric event that was happening around me. As I say this is common. Why I am saying that is that I want to point out it is actually a normal way of coping with extreme distress. I expect that your dissociation was triggered by an emotional flashback, not an actual event happening now, but nevertheless still real to your brain. It must have been a very profound trigger or perhaps you are just stuck there. Have you read Pete Walkers book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving? It is very good on emotional flashbacks
