Does anyone else have this (TW)
Hi this is my first post to the forum. my girlfriend has moved away for university and everything just seems to be too much for me to handle. is this normal? i'm really upset by it, i keep crying and can't control my emotions. i'm jealous of everyone who's living with her because i wish that was me. i don't want her to leave me. i don't have anyone else irl:( i'm lonely and i'm scared i don't want her to abandon me. what if she finds people who are better than me and wants to leave me. or finds me too much to deal with? �
my mood keeps dropping and i'm struggling to be happy. i'm happy for her and that she's having a good time but i'm just sad can't show positive emotions that often rn. i'm trying my best. �
Last night i got real suicidal. I hate when people go to University because i had such a bad experience and felt so lonely, it reminds me of that and i get jealous and want to experience what everyone else is experiencing �and it makes me so sad and angry. �
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idk:( i just aren't doing well right now. any advice?
[Edited by @QuietMagic 11/20/21 to add TW]
@waves11
I'm replying assuming you are not in an emotional crisis right now.
If you are in an emotional crisis right now, then please see my comments at the bottom first.
I had a friend that went through something like that a long time ago.
He had a hard time adjusting to his gf going to uni because it was a breakup too.
I couldn't reason with him. He was completely unreasonable.
He let his emotions take over him instead of accepting the reality and moving on. All that just worsened what he went through and led him to do futile things. Eventually he realized the foolishness of his subbornness and accepted the reality. Then he was able to heal and find solutions to his other problems too.
When change happens people usually go through an acceptance cycle (accepting the reality).
One way to look at it is with The Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle.
The emotional roller coaster of accepting reality looks like this diagram in theory
(but in real life it depends on the person and may be completely different)
The stages
Shock stage*: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
Testing stage*: Seeking realistic solutions.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.
It's all explained here https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief
If things ever feel really bad for you, it's very important to know who to reach out for emotional help when needed.
They can help you create a safety plan that is most important to have.
We here at 7cups can't handle that kind of thing because only places that are trained properly can.
7 Cups is not a crisis resource, and we are not trained to deal with those situations. You need to seek out resources trained to handle those situations. We are not allowed to cover those topics here.
If you are not in crisis, we can listen actively to help you work out your feelings and emotions and thoughts and provide resources. We also provide chatrooms for support for non-crisis topics.
Here are some emotional crisis resource leads we are told to provide here.
https://help.7cups.com/hc/en-us/articles/360026242193-Crisis-Resources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
If you feel you may be at risk for harming yourself
then please get immediate attention with the resources above
or contact your public emergency phone number if necessary.
Please forgive any typo errors.