Ever just feel like you're a different person?
I've been diagnosed with BPD for awhile. I haven't gone to therapy yet because of financial reasons but I had a complete mental breakdown and over the course of a week in a psyche ward the psychiatrist finally said I had that.
But I get the feeling a lot I have no idea who I am. I act different a lot of the time, and lately i've just been in this total fugue state. Hell I even went total batshit last night and let some part of me introduce itself to all my online friends. I called it Arianna, and quite frankly I still feel it creeping on me. I don't know if I should pursue someone that specializes in dissociative disorders but I simply feel like I have no idea who I am anymore and I am just watching my life like it's some movie.
It's disheartening and I want to cry. I don't feel as nervous or anxious as yesterday, but I just got out of a toxic relationship. So maybe I'm just coping in that way.
I suffered trauma as a child. Nothing crazy like sexual abuse (I hope because I can't remember, my family was questionable) but my dad came in and out of my life and I was alone and bullied a lot.
@Starry0592
I know exactly how you feel. I hate to look in the mirror with some fear of who I will see. I am very wary of 'going to sleep' when I get angry. Having to deal with the aftermath is an absolute nightmare. And then there is the feeling of shared space, like visiting with someone else who is also in your head. Mind you, I have been diagnosed with both Borderline personality and dissociative identity disorders, so I'm not sure if that makes a difference in circumstances. I still don't quite understand the BPD yet...but the information is lurking out there...somewhere. :D
@Starry0592 This is exactly how i feel. I have recently been diagnosed and am not sure what to do to help myself.. so i feel lost and unsure of who or what is me
@Starry0592 This is exactly how i feel. I have recently been diagnosed and am not sure what to do to help myself.. so i feel lost and unsure of who or what is me
This is exactly how I feel. I have recently been diagnosed with BPD and you hit the nail on the head there. I don't know where to go from here, I feel very lost and I am unsure what is me and what's not..
