Feeling like there’s nothing left
Just want to vent i guess.
Years of therapy, years of switching and swapping meds, years of constantly getting in and out of inpatient facilities, always coming out to new therapists and psychs and starting from scratch. so many years of relieving the trauma and start to trust someone and then they leave. meds don’t ever help. can’t afford therapy anymore. i’ve felt this way for so long and it all started so young i just feel as though this is permanent. i will have to continue living a life i have never wanted or made a real effort in and i just don’t know how to cope anymore. i don’t keep friends for long, relationships are the rockiest things ever, family is so dysfunctional. it feels as though someone’s taken an ice cream scoop to my chest and i’m just left here empty. a gaping whole where my heart and feelings should be. how is it possible to feel so much and absolutely nothing at all at the same time? i just want to wake up one day and actually be happy. feel like everything i used to love isn’t a choir in life.
anyway, thanks for listening.
@findmypulse
Hi, welcome to 7 Cups. 💜 Just passing along a couple links:
Welcome pack for new members
List of experienced listeners who accept 1-on-1 chats on BPD
That sounds really difficult... having to go through therapy for so many years, switching between so many meds, being in and out of facilities, having to start over from scratch so many times with therapists/friends/relationships, etc. And just feeling like there's this endless process of struggling where you're able to feel everything negative but nothing positive/happy/meaningful.
Could understand feeling like it's hard to find hope for the future when the past has been a continuous succession of so many different things that have all started and then finished without leaving much of a positive impact. Like every new thing is just another opportunity for people/systems to fail you and prove that they're unstable or untrustworthy.
If you're ever interested in chatting, HERE is my booking form to schedule something.
