Girlfriend has BDP
Hi, so its my first post in this group. My gf has been diagnosed with BDP before we started dating. And recently, Im starting to understand how hard it is for me too to be in a relationship with her. Shes very impulsive, and she screams at me (even though she knows it scares me), and she always forget to take my feelings into consideration. I know it isnt her fault entierely, and I want to help her, but I dont know what to do anymore. With my school going horribly, my anxiety, my depersonalization and my depression, its all getting a bit too much.
I simply wanted to know if you guys (with BDP or in a relationship with someone who has BDP) have any tricks on how to change some of her comportments towards me? Its starting to scare me. And I love her, I dont want to leave her, but its starting get a lot, especially her anger. Do you have any tips for that?
Thanks x
It sounds like she needs to make some changes. I know a lot of us can't control emotion very well. But there is thereaphy and behaviour changing routines. If she was only recently diagnosed then she might not have gotten these resources yet. I would talk to her about it and see if she's willing to put in extra time and effort. Then I'd offer to do worksheets like the linked ones with her. Hope some of this is helpful. (worksheets might help you too. They're great for teaching self control over brain stuff) https://printableworksheets.in/?dq=Dbt
@tinybearprincess Also I have more worksheets I'll link if you want for anger management and other MH things. Or you can google it too 
@SpareDare Thank you so much for your answer! I've talked about it with her and she told me that she wanted to improve her comportment towards me. I'll use those handouts and search for more if needed. Thank you!!
Hi, I know exactly what you are talking about. I however have been married for 18 years and only as a few months ago realised through other family members my wife has BPD. This has come to a head through a family conflict which is still on going.
Dealing with it for me is a real battle.
There are many books, but Walking on Eggshells is a good start. It will give you a good insight as to how they think and how you need to respond. I now can cope with my wife's irrational outbursts, but is very draining and requires a lot of resolve.
It will take a long time before I see my real wife for who she really is. We have a 16 year old son together and I have 2 older married daughters and 2 grand childen. I am dedicated to help her. They say BPD's those who have turned the corner never give up on them.
However in your case you do have a choice in terms of the cost to yourself and your family. If you decide to continue the realtionship you can't do by youself. You will need a good physiologist. This is expensive but you can get a healthcare plan rebate. This the way we have gone.
A difficult choice but you can also opt out and I wouldn't blame anyone for that. The good news is that treatment from what I have read etc
can be a reverlation for the BPD and of course you. But it is long road ahead. I hope this helps a little.