Hi,
I’m not sure I’m in the right place, but I’m the partner of someone who has BPD (I don’t have BPD myself, but I do have severe generalized anxiety disorder!) and while my partner and I love each other very much, more often than not my anxiety causes me to become terrified over any instance they may split on me, or just, generally get mad at me if I do something wrong. Most of their BPD episodes consist of anger and angry outbursts, which I have childhood trauma around. They’re the love of my life and I want things to get better between us, but I’m just not sure how to cope with their episodes without stepping away (and feeling guilty afterwards that I ‘couldn’t be there’ (my own words and thought process, not theirs!) Does anyone here have any strategies for coping with this??
@lavenderTalker9048
Hey of course you can post about anything in the forums I believe. I just think maybe you won't get replies as quick as you may want which could be better talked about in a chat with a listener. I am sorry you are going through these issues with the love of your life. Mental disorders are honestly very difficult to handle on your own much less with someone you dearly love and may live with - someone who you share basically everything with and want to share such personal things with as well. I personally don't know much about BPD but I do have bipolar disorder and I have issues because of it with my partner. I would say try reddit first but also have you considered talking to a therapist? I think everyone's mental illness is different though so maybe some strategies will work better than others. I would say try different options with your partner with open communication. Have a serious conversation about what could better help and just continue to try different things to see if some things are a little better than others and make small adjustments there.
I think a therapist or couple's therapist would be an option but may not be viable for everyone. I think things can be better but it will take some more open-mindedness and effort from both sides. :)
Wish you the best and feel free to message me!
Yeah, I think you may be right! I definitely want to try talking one on one with a therapist here about it all, but I’m also still settling into the app so it might be more like later in the morning when I do talk to someone =3 Regardless, I’m so glad this app exists and I feel like I can get help here. I’ve tried on social media, but it’s proven to be more of a hassle than anything =( So thank you for your reply, this actually gives me more hope than I’ve had in ages =“)
@lavenderTalker9048
I hope you've reached out to a therapist by now! Sorry, it's hard to see the notifications that someone replied back but I am so glad to hear you've found a platform you feel you can find some help or support :) What on instagram did you try? (I'm just curious). Hope you've been doing better!
This kinds of hits close to home, but I would say coping strategies would be to get professional therapy for both the person with BPD and definitely their partner, because it’s not an easy task being with someone that suffers from that disorder. If both are willing to get the help, than I believe it can also bring the couple closer as well by sharing something together and supporting each other during the hard times.
I understand how difficult this situation is for you. You're met with contradicting odds for your decision. I'm hoping your partner can access therapy and can cope with their anger
