Holiday Season and BPD: How to manage?

Something we may hear often is how happy the Holidays are: people are always smiling, looking forward to the parties, family dinners, gift shopping etc. Thing is, for many of us struggling with mental health, the holiday season can be difficult - it can be more stressful, trigger certain feelings,memories, behaviors. Speaking for myself, this is a time of year where my mood goes up and down in a scary roller coaster, and social situations make me feel at the edge at times. I have found that being prepared, and looking after yourself every day (or as much as possible) can help a bit - but sometimes its hard to know how to put that in practice, and we may feel lost.

Do you feel the same way? If yes, *hugs* its tough but were in this together.

Also, keep reading! Im sharing a little idea I had about this, in the end of the post!

But.. how can Holidays be so difficult?

There are many reasons behind what makes Holidays be stressful or even triggering for many. The main thing to remember is, if you look at a person who doesnt struggle with mental health issues, they might also experience some stress - but that stress is balanced with all the good things they experience in the season. When someone already struggles with their mental health, that stress adds on the struggles, making them harder. Some examples:

★ Shopping (if you struggle with excessive spending, the sales and gift shopping can be difficult)

★ Expectations about being ‘happy and appearing ‘happy

★ Family situations

★ Dinners/parties/etc (if you struggle with an eating disorder)

★ Alcohol (if you struggle with addiction)

★ Any other struggle thats personal to us, that even if I didnt add here, still matters

Most of us want to enjoy the Holidays, want to make them a great experience for both us and people around us - and we try our hardest to make that an amazing season and celebration. Thats why we sometimes can struggle, I feel, because we want to do our best and we put certain expectations or goals to achieve.. but because were not taking care of our own needs or they get put on a second plan - the struggles come to the surface.

Okay, but what can we do?

Thats a good question! And theres some things we can do, mainly to keep ourselves in check and our emotional tank as full as possible. Keyword: self-care

★ Keep your support system near you! Check-in with them when you can, let them know if youre struggling and needing support, and also (if possible) spend some time with them, doing things you all enjoy

★ Keep a routine and add some self-care or ‘me-time in your day. It can be 30 minutes in the morning or evening, or breaking those 30 minutes throughout the day. Use that time to relax, do your personal hygiene, stay in check with how youre feeling, use your coping skills such as mindfulness.

★ Make a list of your most helpful coping skills, and take it with you. You can also include quotes that you find helpful, or a music playlist that you find soothing. For me, Ill be using a little A6 booklet, but you can use your phone as well, or little cards and keep them on your wallet.

★ If you are seeing a therapist or mental health professionals, talk to them about your struggles. Sometimes we may not be able to see them as much, and that can cause us to worry. So be as open as possible with them, and maybe you can both find a plan that would help you during this time.

★ If you dont feel good about going to a certain event, or youre struggling and need time for you, its okay to say no. Its okay to say you cant, and reschedule if you feel okay with it. You have that right, and you can use that time to work on that ‘me-time we all need and deserve!

★ Do something nice for you, especially on most stressful days. For me, I like to keep some bath fizzers, bath bombs or other fun stuff, and before a party or stressful event, I pop one onto my bath, put some nice music in the bathroom and then take my time to get ready. But it can be anything, you dont have to these fancy things. It can be listening to your favorite music, or buying yourself a nice small gift.

★ If you will have to spend the Holidays alone, its okay. Find a support system, either real life or online, that you can reach out to when you need. If staying at home makes you feel unwell, you can look for opportunities to volunteer, for example. This is a time of year where charity organizations may be looking for volunteers. This is also a good tip for those that need some time off and find it helpful!

And without being said, I want to share something with you! *drum roll*

This is my idea.. Having a Holiday Survival Plan! I know, sounds kind of cheesy but hear me out.. This plan would include three activities, small or big, that you can try to do every day or as regularly as possible, to help you cope. You can pick any of the ideas I listed above and change them to fit what helps you, or add your usual coping skills. It can also be a guide on what you can do when things get too difficult - sometimes we may forget that, so having something to remind you of it could help.

Its okay if you dont feel its something that will help you, were all different and different things help us! But just thought Id share, as its something Im trying for myself and just in case any of you find it helpful to try. Feel free to share bellow what other techniques you find helpful, as well!

My Holiday Survival Plan:

1. Start the day with nice music and a warm shower

2. Practice mindfulness every day, either before bed or after waking up

3. Fill my little A6 booklet with good skills, quotes and lyrics that will help me stay centered. Keep it in my bag

Questions:

★ How do you feel about Holidays - are they a difficult time for you, or not?

★ Will you try to have a Holiday Survival Plan? If yes, what will you include in that plan?

★ What other ideas or words of support/encouragement would you tell someone that is struggling with the Holidays?

P.S: I know this may come late, since some places the holiday season may have started (such as in USA, with Thanksgiving) but I hope it's still in time for celebrations such as Christmas, which actually have already semi-started where I live