How to handle partner with bpd
I have boyfriend. I feel like he's dealing with borderline personality disorder. He had only mentioned it once few months back and was scared. At that time we did not know much. And we never had a conversation about it again. Recently we fought and I realized something is wrong. And remembered about bpd. I read a lot about it. And it seems like he accurately fits into the disorder. Now I don't know how to tell him. Will he ever believe me or will he blame me for manipulating. He is not ready to listen to me. And I have no idea how to convey it. Even if I do. Will we ever have a normal healthy relationship. He is also scared to share things with people. And scared of privacy. So he will never agree for a therapy. He is not talking to me since we fought. Should I tell me. Or should I just walk away?
Hello, I'm sorry about your situation, it doesn't have to be easy to deal with. I see only two ways out: break up with him, or get him to seek professional help. You definitely can't be in a relationship where neither of you is okay, it wouldn't be healthy. You are not his therapist and you shouldn't settle for someone who can't admit that they need help. If you care about this person, you might consider trying to talk to him about how you feel about your relationship, and how therapy might help him. All the best.
@Shemi
Hi there--if I'm understanding the situation, you don't know for sure if your partner has BPD, but you have noticed some patterns that suggest that it might be a possibility.
Here is a resource that has some general tips for being in a relationship with someone who has BPD. Even if he doesn't have BPD, the information in here may still be relevant. The most important things are to take care of yourself, communicate in a way that makes him feel heard and safe, and establish boundaries.
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/helping-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder.htm
I can't answer the question of whether or not to talk to him about BPD specifically, but whether you decide to or not, those principles will be valuable for navigating any conversations you have with him related to relationship issues.