I Have No Idea Who I Really Am??

✨ Quick Question and Tangent: Does anyone else feel like they have really no idea who they actually are?

What I mean by this is that I have been in therapy a few years now and my therapist kinda made me laugh when I last saw her, because she essentially said, "Ill probably never know with you. Are you manic? Just a simple sleeping disorder? Do you have ADD? Are you just borderline? Who knows."

Well, my thing with all that is-- for as long as I can remember I've never really known what my "sense of self" is, because it's constantly fluctuating. One day I believe I'm one person, the next I'm someone else, then three days later I've got a whole other plan for my life.

Sometimes this makes it even more difficult for myself when I'm hearing from others how they perceive me. Even when it's kind and uplifting things, I always have in the back of my head, "They have no idea who I am either, how could they, if I dont?"

Now.. the man I'm dating understands Borderline Personality Disorder (which is one of many things they've "diagnosed" me with) because he himself is manic and studied psychology.. but obviously he doesn't really know me either. I feel like even my "friends" I've had for over a decade probably wouldn't agree on who I "am" either.

Sorry for the ramble, I'm exhausted and alone at work, my heads too full..