I can't explain it to other people
When I start to have a low episode everything quickly becomes painful and confusing. It hurts and I can't explain how I am feeling to other people. There is an overwhelming feeling inside. I can only liken it grief or loss, as if the most important person to you in the world vanished, but you can't quite remember them. Also it feels as if someone else is inside of me. Another part of me maybe, just dissociation when I'm pain? I dunno. I'm just frustrated because I can't explain to anyone how I feel. Even my partner who I am very close too.
Does anyone know what on earth I'm talking about? How can I feel like any of this is real?
I understand you completely, I pass for this situation all the time. I am turbulent and I have mood swings which exhaust me, I try to explain to others but it can't be understood for them. It seems like I have two personalities fighting or both entering in conflict...I want you to know that you are not alone on this, I don't have an advice for you since I am passing for the same thing but I wish you good luck!
I'm really glad I'm not alone in this. In a way I'm glad my partner can't understand because it's such a horrible thing to feel. It's like being torn apart over and over again. There is definitely some kind of battle between two people in me.
That is a very normal feeling. Have you tried DBTbefore? That was the most effective therapy for me. It completely re-structured how I dealt with pain and any strong emotion. Just remember that it's ok if you can't describe how you feel or why you feel that way.
I have had a group therapy based on DBT via the NHS is the UK. It helped a lot. I used to be much worse. Also I have been self harm free for all of 2015 so far. I hope i can come to accept i don't need to be understood