Keeping it away from the kids

Dear @traurig , that sounds like a really hard thing to deal with. I'm still not a mother, but I have borderline personality disorder and I can tell how hard it is to control your emotions not only around some important people, but around anyone in general.

What kind of things do you try to hide and why do you think that they see your emotional swings ? Tell us details so we can communicate better and maybe suggest you some thing to do.

@traurig

Thank you so much for bringing this to light. I am a mother myself and while I generally do not struggle with my self-esteem, parenting is the one thing I am insecure about. I don't think this is unusual, however, because I come from an abusive family with a history of addiction and mental illness while also maintaining on-going courses in education, early childhood development, and psychology, I am aware of both the importance of discipline, follow through, routines, and communication, as well as, the damaging effects mental illness can have on families. It is so easy to get lost in the web and become worried, you are not alone.

The fact that you are here seeking support speaks volume to the level of care you want to provide for your kiddos as well as your own inventory. I am so proud of you! This is a topic I hope to explore in therapy, because I one of my struggles includes really wondering how much of my perception is accurate. As a mother, I know it is a priority to do the very best we can, but rest assured we all make mistakes, children forgive, and we are here to provide one another with support.

Communication is key! This goes for your spouse, your children, and anyone else living in your home. I only have one four year old son, although I can say my fear is pretty constant- depsite feeling overall that he has it better than I did, and loving him with all my might-. We often sit down and try to talk things out to the best of our abilities. I think it is our initial response to want to protect our loved ones from BPD by internalizing, but this can add to the isolation we already feel, and waives the opportunity of discussing questions and concerns that communication invites.

Finally, compassion! Compassion for your self. I say this because if you're like me, chances are you've put yourself through the shredder more than once. However, worrying too much about these issues can be just as harmful as not paying enough attention. Try to regain some perspective, seek support in a friend, and/or talk to your family directly in order to find strategies you can all to cope with this.

My heart goes out to you.

For additional reading from a mother also living with mental illness, please visit:

BPD and Parenting- The stigmas, the facts, the fictions!

"Wife and mom of four diagnosed with major depression, bipolar 1 disorder, and borderline personality disorder; learning to live a beautiful life despite challenges."

*(I particularly enjoyed the above resource because almost everything else I researched on BPD and parenting was horribly negative and misleading.)