Loneliness and BPD
Loneliness is something I have struggled with on and off for many years. I have a hard time maintaining relationships for various reasons: I get tired of people, I have a hard time maintaining communication (texting overwhelms me sometimes), I show my BPD side (rarely) and people leave, I go for people who are themselves unstable (ie people with their own mental illnesses). I know it can be very debilitating, so before it becomes acute again I want to know if anyone has coping strategies or just wants to share their experiences so I don't feel alone in this. Thanks :)
@StayAnotherDay
Darling, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm sorry it took me until now to respond to you, but Im here and Im here to offer you whatever love, compassion, and support that my heart can.
BPD in the UK is sometimes referred to as emotionall unstable personality disorder (EUPD) because it gives them a clearer description on what it means to have BPD.
It's important to understand that those with BPD often also have an anxious attachment style, meaning that they are more likely to be hypersensitive to possibilities of rejection. This can cause you to burn out from a relationship quickly, feeling like you're always on your guard. Communication is another hard one, and sometimes it's a matter of taking small steps to understanding yourself, and then figuring out a way to make your style of communication (I'm also a bad texter) work in interpersonal relationships.
The depression piece can also affect relationships and cause loneliness. It's very easy to feel overwhelmed when in depression, making you feel withdrawn but also lonely at the same time.
I have some resources that can give you some insight on BPD
UK's Mind.org BPD information page
What it's like to have BPD - this one has a bit more on different actions that can perpetuate loneliness, such as black and white thinking, and withdrawing from others
HealingFromBPD's small blog post on loneliness and connecting with others
Healing from lonelineness through DBT
We're here for you <3
- xx, AdVictoriam
@AdVictoriam I haven't been on here in awhile so I'm late to reply, but thank you so much for your response <3
people with bpd aka us feel lonely often because we're empty inside and we will never, ever be satisfied with anything in our life, and it's not because we're idk what, it's because we have that emptiness.
whenever i felt happy, i always fall down very quickly and that down is very, very bad down, awful actually.
i'm only hanging out with mentally ill people because they can understand me, only they can, especially those with the same disorder like mine. and that's not the wrong thing, it's okay, those are friends too. maybe we can't have "normal" friends, but at least we can have some.
generally friendships are very overwhelming to me rn because i'm in some kind of a down, and when i know that i have nothing good to offer them i'm just not in contact with them, because
feeling bad ---> have nothing to offer ---> if i have nothing to offer, they'll leave ---> if they leave.. well, we know what actually happens. SHOW TIME, BREAKDOWN.
so yeah in general we'll always feel lonely no matter what. just accept the fact that it must be like this, we didn't choose so the only thing we can do is to adapt.
sending you love, hope i somehow helped with this post, hope it's logical. ly guys you know i'll never leave you, we're the mentally ill squad that kicks our own ass <3