Love Stories II: When You Love Someone With BPD
BPD Supporters,
Please use this space to vent, explore, and express your concerns and compassions for your loved ones with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Discusion Prompts:
How does this disorder influence your relationships?
Is your relationship romantic, friendly, or both?
What have you sacrificed in order to support someone with BPD?
What have you gained?
What is the single biggest misconception about BPD in your opinion?
How do you get and stay emotionally invested in someone with BPD?
Thank you for sharing!
Hi all!
I have a very good friend with BPD.
Sometimes its hard to say what has affected our relationship, whether it is BPD, situational or just life getting in the way.
I find that being supportive and understand helps, sometimes this means letting them push you away but still standing strong with a helping hand out stretched for when they're ready to take it.
@peacefulMango54
I adore the level of compassion in this approach. Thank you for sharing. <3
Bump
Alright then... I got two online friends suffering from BPD... one is a real good friend and the other one is like, she's perfect at pushing me away most of the time and never replying, but oh well, I'm more persistent than that, so it's all good ;). Yet I'll go through those promt questions for my other friend, cause I guess we're closer and I know her better, so I can answer those questions more realisticly.^^
How does this disorder influence your relationships?
I guess it makes it different every day. Like, the overall mood, the topics we talk about, if we talk at all... it can change at any time. So I need to be able to get it quick enough to keep up with that and adjust.
Is your relationship romantic, friendly, or both?
Friendly. =) And I'm not their fp.
What have you sacrificed in order to support someone with BPD?
Umm... quite some hours of sleep I guess ;). But that's more because of the time difference between us. Yet I sometimes do forego going to sleep so I can keep chatting with her when I feel like I should. But that's not too bad. Usually I have enough free-time during the weekends so I can catch up with sleep.^^
What have you gained?
Tons of stuff. Knowledge, insights, getting to know myself better, being more thoughtful, the ability to see things from every angle without judging, learning to be way more laid back and don't take things personal, being mentally flexible enough to follow that rollercoaster at least somewhat, learning how to overcome fights and talk it through, having the nerves and the persistence to just hang in there no matter what, learning to never get involved too much personally so it could become dangerous for my own mental health... oh boy it feels like I could totally write a novel about the things I gained!!!!! <3 <3 <3
What is the single biggest misconception about BPD in your opinion?
They are no psychopaths, there's no reason to treat them that way and no reason to be scared.
How do you get and stay emotionally invested in someone with BPD?
Umm... I'm not sure if I'm really "emotionally invested". Cause tbh that sounds more like something I'd rather not do. I mean I guess I'm a pretty empathic person, at least when it comes to the ones I care for. So that's just me being me anyway, no matter who the other person is. So when it comes to that I need to be aware that I must NOT get too emotionally invested with people, because self protection. Which means I'm careful with that anyway. But that doesn't mean I'm a detached ice cube or something ;). It's just... I need to know how far I can go and where I need to stop. And being "emotionally invested" kinda sounds like I already went too far. But maybe that's just me so~...
@suBSea
So beautifully insightful! Thank you for answering all of my discussion topics! How long have you been friends with this person? I really appreciate the level of thought and compassion you put into this. She's lucky to have you.:)
@blitheSun94
Awww thanks for your feedback! ^_^ 
I've been in touch with her for a bit longer than a year. It was a pretty dramatic start, as one of my first msgs to her kind of was a reply to her suicide note she posted somewhere... thinking that it's probably coming too late and she'd never read the whole thing...! But she did. Cause she was found, barely on time, but still though.^^ So that was how we started messaging each other. In the meantime she made a huge progress though, I'm super freakin proud of her... so at least it's a rollercoaster with an overall upwards tendency or something 
...
@suBSea
You're a wonderful friend. 
Well, I'm me being me in the first place, so I screw things up often enough^^... but then again I won't treat her any different than anyone else, I won't wrap myself up inside a cotton ball before I talk to her :P. It's all about being equal I guess, she's no better or worse than me, and the other way round. So we're on an equal ground of sorts.^^
@blitheSun94
I need emotional support. I believe I will always Love my wife who is a quiet PWBPD. She is in the process of divorcing me. Her behavior contradicts 6 years of our irreplaceable relationship. I am a religious person. I do not think my true love for my wife will end even if / When the marriage legally ends.
Bump.
