Morbid thoughts
Do you ever find yourself attracted to melancholy or depressing things, or even developing an unhealthy obsession with the morbid? When I start to get ill all I can think about are sad things; I even make up tragic scenarios in my head. Sometimes I wonder if I make myself worse by holding onto my low moods. It scares me, but it's not something I can really control. Am I alone?
No. You are not alone. I do these things all the time. It's quite scary actually, but it's like I can't stop. I lay in bed all night thinking of things or looking up things just to upset me.
I do it sometimes too. . .
We all do it. It's called a comfort zone. 
@jellyHead
I like your positivity! In a way, yes, I can totally see it as a place of comfort. I wonder what the psychology behind that is, or if we all just need that security blanket sometimes.
Lee.
In my experience depression is a self-perpetuating condition. It feeds itself and becomes comfortable.
@jellyHead
I can definitely see why you would say that. I feel like in cases especially like Borderline Personality Disorder, there is a certain affinity towards morbidity.
An old psychiatrist of mine once quoted a Keats poem in reference to bipolar:
"Half in love with death"
Beautifully put. 
@xminacakex
You are definitely not alone in this. You're never alone. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Lee.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. It's nice to know that i'm alone in this. Hugs to all
I think I can relate. Sometimes I just feel masochistic because I think that I don't feel sad enough.
BPD makes you feel skeptical about some things so sadder ideas can seem more /real/ which is what makes them seem more attractive.
@Yourfairygodbro. Very true
Yes and no. I don't make up sad scenarios or get into things that would be considered depressing...actually I'm not particularly affected by things most would consider depressing. I have, however, always had a fascination for morbid types of things. I had a tendency to be cruel to animals as a little kid and was practically obsessed with medical shows, like the ones where they show surgeries and stuff like that. I've always liked gory movies, gore websites, reading about gruesome crimes, and daydream about getting into fights or killing people...not even out of anger or revenge. I guess it's just sort of an urge or fascination.
