Self-Compassion and Self-Care with BPD
Hi everyone!
Would anyone be willing to share their experience/advice in exercising self-compassion and/or self-care/nurturing in your own life? I mean, specifically in regard to living with BPD as opposed to someone who might not have BPD.
I am still somewhat new to having BPD and, maybe it's just me, but I'm feeling like having BPD might necessitate more dedicated self-care, as self-nurturing, and self-compassion. At least at times.
Thanks!
@munchiegoosie
(Disclaimer: I haven't been diagnosed with BPD and I probably wouldn't meet the diagnostic criteria for it now, so my experience might not be "legitimate" or generalizable.)
This is a bit of an indirect answer, but something that I feel informs all of my own self-care and self-compassion is a broader attitude that my feelings are what they are and I am completely allowed to think/feel anything and everything... regardless of whether it's healthy, unhealthy, or whatever.
I'm not allowed to *act* on everything. There are lots of things within me that if I act on them, they would really hurt other people or create situations that are very difficult for me in the long-term. So I do find it necessary to control my behavior, adjust to social roles, etc.
But in terms of my inner world, I'm allowed to feel/think everything. For me personally, what I find most compassionate is just being allowed to exist as what I am. If there are thoughts or feelings that desperately want to be heard or acknowledged, I consider everything to be fair game.
- If I feel angry, I'm allowed to feel angry.
- If I feel sad, I'm allowed to feel sad.
- If I feel scared, I'm allowed to feel scared.
- If I feel stressed, I'm allowed to feel stressed.
- If I feel cynical, I'm allowed to feel cynical.
- If I hate myself or everyone or everything, I'm allowed to feel that way. 😊
- If I have a strong desire to not feel any of these things, that's allowed too.
Everything within me has a perspective that craves to be heard, honored, and respected. Everything has a purpose behind it. When that purpose is satisfied (or when a different purpose that feels more important dominates my attention), things dissipate on their own.