Therapist

@amyd66

so sorry. hope it gets better

I can't relate to this encounter but I will tell that you're feelings are completely justified in my eyes. When I found out I had BPD I was both uncomfortable, yet relieved, to realize that there was an answer as to why I've been experiencing so much inner turmoil for most of my life. Which is why when you said that your therapist thought your disorder wouldn't change anything I personally felt insulted by that. If your therapist truly believes that, then maybe you find someone else who will actually listen to you.

@amyd66 To be honest, I find this confusing and difficult to respond to. I suppose you find it confusing and difficult, too, and that's why you've posted here.

For me, the first difficulty is the "5 years part", immediately followed by "She is amazing". What confuses me is that therapy doesn't normally take 5 years, not even for something complicated like BPD. So, to be coldly logical about it, either the 5 years haven't really been therapy, or she hasn't really been amazing.

And then the huge fight you had, and her challenging and hurtful "are you going to stop feeling pain" remark—these kind of suggest that whatever you were doing together for these 5 years has broken down. So now it's not therapy and it's not amazing either.

It is a simple matter of fact that people seeking effective therapy often change therapist. And also, effective therapy quickly equips you for a future life free from therapy. And effective therapy is respectful of your sense of identity and your right to understand yourself in whatever terms you choose. So I hope you will be able to find some way to move on from the situation you've described.

Charlie

Do you think your therapist 1) doesn’t believe you have BPD, 2) doesn’t believe in BPD as a diagnosis for anybody, or 3) won’t admit to you that she thinks you have BPD. That was a complicated sentence, but hopefully you understand. I’m a bit perplexed by psychiatric diagnoses. I mean, it’s not as if you can wait for the lab test, right? A panel of mental health professionals could easily disagree on what one person’s diagnosis is. Personally, I find the BPD diagnosis to be a source of shame and concern, although I don’t know if I have been diagnosed with it. I feel like I am borderline Borderline. LOL. My therapist told me he is unconcerned with an exact diagnosis as it is primarily an insurance billing issue and I am cash pay. I find cPTSD and emotional dysregulation to be less stigmatizing and more hopeful.

I’m sorry she said something hurtful to you. I think you have the right to know what she has diagnosed you with. She definitely should not be telling you how you should feel and think. That is such a trigger for anyone, much less someone with BPD, or whatever we want to call it! I hope you can work it out with her. Or find someone better. Be cautious about leaving, though. In the past many therapists wouldn’t accept someone with a BPD diagnosis. The stigma is not as bad as it used to be, but it persists. On the plus side, maybe your insurance would pay for a Dialectical Behavior Therapy program. Whatever you end up doing, I hope you find peace and love.