This is Me

Hello everyone! You can call me joy or joyful horse! About a year and 5 months ago I was sent to the hospital for a suicide attempt. I came out being told I have bpd. it really hit me so hard! I have many trips to the hospital and have really gone down hill. I have had a very hard life. When I was born it was said I am mentally retarded /special needs , my family believed this. It was said I wouldnt live a normal life talk or walk. Which destroyed my life. i had to fight with everyone. I did well in that. I became a swimmer and runner but still I was told that I am a nothing. Years latter I have a job living on my own and try to live a normal life. So when doctors told me I have bpd I really did not want to even believe it . I have had so many labels and many set backs. I was mad. I had seen so many people and now I was being told that im helpless and I have the worse thing ever! I wanted to know nothing about it. This year a lot happen and it lead up being bpd and I really needed to make a choice to face it and get help or let it ruin my life. I had lost so many friends and lost my job. I was in a bad space! In September I lost everything and s I took to finding help. There is very little help where I live so I made a choice to check 7cups of tea. 7 cups has help me so much and the bpd support group has been such a blessing. I have now started to love my myself. I am not my bpd but I can change the outcome of it. I have also found some people where I stay and we going start a first ever bpd group for support!

I take each day as it comes. I may not understand bpd or how I am but im learning to love myself and that is so important for me!

This is me I have bpd, I love writing and helping people. I do a lot of research and I want to be help. I want to be known as joyful and not for my anger which takes control so many times!

I can forces on all the bad or I can forces on the good and reach out and here I am writing to you all.

Fall 7 times but get up 8 times! This is me. Joyful horse!