Undiagnosed bpd

@aszalay No one here can give you advice. In fact, according to our community guidelines you are not even allowed to ask for advice. So you might find that someone will edit your question to remove that part.

I am not an expert, but I looked up the current official guideline on this, which is called DSM-5-TR. The very first thing it says about borderline personality disorder is that it's "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity…"

I think the difficultly here is that word "pervasive", meaning that BPD affects all interpersonal relationships. So if some of your relationships are not affected, I suppose that might make professionals reluctant to diagnose BPD. It's disappointing that the professionals you have seen didn't explain their thinking more fully. For example, they could have shown you what DSM-5-TR says about it.

Perhaps when you are assessed again by the community treatment team it might be useful to ask them exactly what they think your diagnosis really is, and to show you the description of that diagnosis in the DSM, so that you can understand their point of view.

Charlie