What's Your Diagnosis Story?
Hello all,
It took me years to get to a point where I was officially diagnosed with BPD. It was done by a psychiatrist who was leading in the field. The only reason I got to this psychiatrist is because a therapist I was seeing at the time mentioned that I might have symptoms that correspond to BPD. Luckily, from there, I got admitted to an outpatient treatment program.
What about you? What's your story?
I was diagnosed with Dysthymic Disorder a year ago, thought i didnt accept it until about a couple of months ago with my 2nd counselor i've had. i always more of considered it depression but had a nightmare one night about losing some of my closest friends, which i've already been in a similar situation with and it was on my mind that entire day. I'd realised that it was based upon my fear of loss, and through some research finally accepted it's not so much of depression as it is dysthymia. i've been slowly getting better ever since i finally accepted it.
There isn't much to talk to: everything was seen and I've changed many psychiatrists and they all thought the same(for only this diagnosis): It's BPD. It's literally seen from a plane hah. There is that intense, pathological fear of abandonment and black&white thinking which pretty much messed up my life.
Originally, I was around 15 or 16, was literally seconds away from getting expelled from high school when I decided to take my counselor's offer to join her outpatient program (primarily for addictions). I was there Monday-Friday, 8-4, did my schooling with teachers who were trained in psychology and crisis intervention and alongside social workers and psychologists and recreational therapists etc. I remember during a meeting with my counselor and my psychologist they had mentioned borderline, and suggested I start doing some programs and wondered how I felt about it. I would have had to go to my adolescence psychiatrist, who I HATED, so I shot that down completely. I didn't understand what borderline was nor did I care. I only understood that I had severe anxiety/ocd and a drug problem and anger issues. That's all I knew. I didn't know they fit under the "Borderline" umbrella. At that age, obviously, BPD wouldn't be officially diagnosed any ways, although I truly wish it could have been.
My mom (mental health professional) kept telling me as I got older and more mature yet still unstable that I am borderline and that I need to seek help or it will get worse. I knew she was right, but I ran from it.
The second I got on my own and realized that I needed to take care of myself to survive in this world, I saw my psychiatrist. From there, it was the same old same old. I'm pretty well a textbook borderline if there ever was one.
