connecting with people/feeling wanted

anyone feel like they cant make a connection with others or once you do you’re not able to maintain the interest? (either from your side or theirs).

I just feel immense emptiness & loneliness all the time.

Ive never been a very social person and ive always had one friend at a time that ive clung to, currently my longest friendship is from 2019 and its barely there. Ive always either ghosted friends or they’ve cut me off bcs of my (undiagnosed mental illness at the time) and now at my big age i find it so hard to develop a friendship with acquaintances and i feel like i’ll never have the type of friendships i crave so badly: people that make me feel wanted all the time, that don’t prioritize other friends over me, people that understand that even though i seem well adjusted and too stoic to care about not being around others it’s the only that genuinely makes life worth living for me. I’ve expressed that with friends before but it still occurs.

I’d think that a lot of people feel the exact same way, they have to!! so either no one wants to admit to it or im completely fucked and shouldve clung onto childhood friendships so i’d have people to spend time with.

(i really try not to seem like im complaining without trying to find a solution so i hope this doesnt seem that way, honestly i mainly just wanna see if others relate and if they’ve found a way to get through this. hope would be nice)