helpless

Hey,

I understand where you are coming from. Especially when the news is so fresh. It's frustrating and it's not like you asked for any of this. Who would choose to feel or act like this right?

You just gotta take it one day at a time. I guess since you were diagnosed you are seeing a therapist, which is great. Do you have any plans for medication?

Before I decided to give in and take medication, I tried many positive steps to improve my quality of life and they did (and continue to) help. First, you gotta understand that most people have challenges in life. A friend of mine has crohn's disease - so he might not have the same mental struggle, but he has major physical problems that impact his quality of life. Another friend has severe diabetes and she has to inject herself regularly, it's life threatening - the list goes on. So don't get me wrong, I'm not saying what we have isn't serious - it is, but you aren't broken, you just have a unique set of challenges and you need to build yourself up to kick its ass. Not just survive but thrive in spite of the struggles before you...

So I did quite a few things that I feel helped. The first is I got motivated to give myself the best chance I could to succeed. I focussed way more on fitness, particularly when I was thinking about romantic interests, I get all that excess romantic energy out of my system. It helped clear my head, and got me into great shape which is good for the confidence. Not to mention that once you are quite fit then exercise really does make you feel good. I also focussed on trying to be selfless in my relationships with people - trying not to expect anything back but making them feel good. Also when people do things and I get paranoid thinking they are ignoring me or im not important enough or w/e, I force myself to think of alternative more rational explanations - they are busy with stuff they cant put off, or stressed, or maybe their phone is flat... Whatever. It doesnt matter what's true or not, but what matters is that I don't believe the worst every time, because i dont know if the worst is true either and if i convince myself it is then the next time I interact with that person I'm looking for a fight. I also decided to quit porn and masturbation and stay single for 6+ months at least... To figure myself out. I spend time being good to myself, making myself happy, so that I don't feel I need anyone else to complete me. I go for walks, eat good food, play sports for fun and to socialise, allow myself to feel good. All of these things have really helped me deal with codependence issues

Anyway, i hope some of this helped and gives you some ideas, it will take time. Chin up, you can get through this