i feel like i
sometimes, i just see how i am awful at all my relationships and how i hurt people so bad when i'm around them. it makes me feel like i'll never have a healthy relationship, i'll always ruin it somehow. it's awful.
@jnlia hello there! Relationships are truly very hard. To get, to keep, to take care of! I'm very sorry to hear you feel like you always ruin it! I know we're not all perfect so it's hard to keep what 'healthy' means or be healthy all the time, but identifying the things that you don't like or that you don't like doing is a great step 
and communication is so important!
Please know we're here for you to talk this out!
@jnlia Those are my same thoughts every single day. But then I have to remember that my sickness is not me. And your sickness is not you. It is heartbreaking to hear you are suffering. Try not to let your brain tell you lies. You are worthy of love. Just keep working to recognize your patterns & avoiding the traps you set for yourself.