not borderline but...
hihihi so i dont have bpd and im not claiming to have it but ive noticed a lot of my experiences overlap and i feel like this is the best place to ask for advice?? lmk to take it down if this isn't ok
i have a problem with the worship/hate cycle in new relationships (platonic or otherwise) and its lead to me having to cut contact with a lot of people. i meet someone and something about them sticks, i crave them constantly, they can do no wrong etc etc (worship). usually we get closer and i CONSTANTLY bounce from worshipping them like a god and hating their guts like getting personally offended when they talk to me. this cycle is what i call the worship/hate cycle and it gets so exhausting to deal with i end up cutting the person off. and then the hate portion begins and i literally want nothing to do with them ever even when they did nothing wrong
this only ever happens to people i like and care about and i feel it happening again so i wanted some advice on how to deal with it (and hopefully stop it). tysm in advance!!!
@eggyolksandwich I am sorry you are caught in a cycle of love hate relationships.
I am not sure what will work for you, but I find the problem is with my expectations. I think someone out there will make me happy forever and so I go on a search for someone that seems to fit the description. Then when I think I see someone with the qualities I believe will make me happy.
Then after a while I see that they are just a human being with faults and they do not alwayss possess the traits that appeal to me. I can get angry because I blame the other person for not loving me when what is really happening is I have exaggerated ideas of what another human being can do for me.
It also helps to start thinking of what the other person needs and not to be super focused on my own needs By doing so I am feeling better about myself and have more realistic ideas of other people and how they can relate to me.
Hiya! I can relate to this, as my current girlfriend is a bpd'r. The cycle can be exhausting, for her and me. We've discussed it over and over and getting that under control can be the most difficult thing g to do. I asked her to hold back when she's high and let it out when she's low. That might sound counter intuitive but for her she has figured out that tempering the highs she feels prevents here from creating too high an expectation; then when she full on triggered and lashing out, she has less ammo which lessens the effects on me. I k ow it's easier said than done but with work it can be accomplished. Good luck to you and if you even question bpd, them talk to your doctor as it can be a horrible illness to deal with if unchecked, and it can be extremely difficult on any potential love I terest who is ill prepared to deal with it.
@eggyolksandwich hey, if you feel like you need someone to talk to feel free to send me a message <3