not diagnosed but painfully obvious
Hi, I recently got random tiktoks about bpd on my for you page and I was like hmm weird. But the more they appeared the more specific and relatable they were. I remembered learning about it in psychology, I’m a psych major, and I was like haha that sounds like me. I soon ignored it, but now here we are. I began doing more intense research and taking evaluations and it kept appearing as high risk of severe bpd.
im not sure what to do where to start but I really need guidance because I’m scared and upset. I have adhd, anxiety, and depression, but I’m very good at diagnosing others by piecing together observations and comparing them to the symptoms. I did that with myself and I was shocked because I have every single symptom, not only just 5 I have them all. I’ve been going through this alone with no idea of what was so wrong because I’ve never experienced depression as severe as it’s gotten. It has worsened and the intense emotions I feel are so overwhelming I started abusing substances last year, I’ve gotten that under control, but I feel it’s starting back up. No one listens to me, cares, or supports me and I feel very much alone in this struggle that is why I came to this thread. I know where it came from as well I pinpointed that aspect but I just don’t know what to do or how to control my emotions.
@cozyrosie252 Of course you will already know that you can't self-diagnose. You need to consult a professional. A general physician is always a good place to start, so you can get a referral to a psychiatrist who specializes in BPD. Althernatively, the psychiatrist who diagnosed your other conditions could be a starting point.
The criteria listed in DSM-5 don't describe how someone with BPD feels, they describe what a clinician observes. So, for example, criterion 1 is "Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment." A clinician would need to observe these frantic efforts and establish that they are part of a pervasive pattern. As you have ADHD, anxiety and depression too, I imagine it will be quite a complicated diagnosis.
Therapies like DBT focus on emotional regulation, among other things, so it is definitely possible that you can eventually have more control over your emotions.
I hope you'll be able to find listeners here who will listen and care, while you go about getting treatment.
Charlie
