All or nothing
I feel so out of place and I'm worried people think im so overdramatic or overwhelming to be around. Some days I wake up and it's like I feel like I can be so productive and I feel on top of the world, other days I feel like I want to burn the world down and others there is nothing. I feel like nobody can manage meike that so I shut down, then it drags be down , so far down. The only thing that keeps me going is that my house mate will go with out food, have clean cloths and need to pay rent. And my main things that keeps me going is my mental cat, I love her to piece and will not just adandon her.
But I need something else to keep going with out burning my friend or family with my mood or issues.
I'm just so tired
@InkIncarnate
Hey, makes sense what you're describing. When you experience a lot of feelings, it makes it difficult to be around other people (e.g. worrying about burdening other people or other people reacting negatively). So then that leads to distancing from your feelings (or from others), but then there's kind of a loss of meaning or depression that goes with that of having everything contract.
Before you shut down, what would you say are the most difficult days? Maybe the ones where you want to burn the world down?
Honestly right now I am very lonely, but I kinda got nobody to go to, I have been told I can be too much with my emotions before, and I am trying to be calmer, but I do worry that I am just bottling them up, which is making but destructive outbursts. And it's draining holding it in and then the outlet
The burn the world days is the best I can describe is, I get so focused of everything around me and I guess I just want things to start again. I can get a little unhinged with thoughls like that. I think I just get so angry, I want the start from scratch
@InkIncarnate
Yeah, the loneliness thing sounds tough. The natural way that that wants to express itself is to go to other people and share about what's happening, but other people have said "that's too much". So with that option cut off, you go in the opposite direction of trying to be calmer or have fewer emotions. But it sort of feels like the emotions are still there and just getting pushed down, things reach a breaking point, and they burst out. (And keeping them reined in and pretending to feel differently than how you actually feel is tiring in and of itself.)
In terms of just being able to connect with feelings and express them, maybe could try doing journaling or some kind of expressive writing?
https://www.7cups.com/forum/journal/
Alternatively, you're welcome to PM me and just share things that you're feeling or that are happening. As long as you're okay with me sometimes taking a couple days to respond, I do reply to all messages that I receive.
Personally, I've been using ChatGPT a lot if I just need to process/offload thoughts and feelings. AI has gotten to a point where it's probably better at empathy than most humans, and it doesn't get tired of talking to me or tell me that I have too many feelings. 😊