BPD in someone i love
i found out yesterday that my bf has BPD, idk how to act and how to make him feel loved. He doesn’t have abandonment issues or is too emotional. I am struggling with my own battles too but rn i want to concentrate on him.
Can someone please help me?
@nicoledegregori That is a very difficult situation to be in, BPD can be very strenuous on any relationship. I will take a moment to caution you, partners in such relationships can struggle with trying to "cure" BPD, a notoriously treatment-resistant condition. That said, reading a book like "Stop Walking on Eggshells" can be very helpful, and feel free to reach out for more support!
@SeeWhyMe77
Hey, I haven't read that book, but from a glance at the synopsis, I'm thinking it might not be relevant?
"Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel as though you are constantly trying to avoid confrontation?"
What I took away from the original post was "I care about my boyfriend and just want to understand how I can support him as best as possible". Which is different from "my boyfriend is acting in ways that make me feel scared/angry/unsafe and I'm really upset and need help figuring out how to protect myself". Feels like it's adding some assumptions that might not be true.
@QuietMagic The synopsis is indeed for the most extreme versions, it is still a valuable resource for anyone intimately involved with someone with BPD. I understand what you took out of the post, and I heard that loud and clear. If you are still concerned, please feel free to reach out.
@nicoledegregori
Hi there, passing along this resource that has some tips that are general but cover many possible angles.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/for-friends-and-family/
Has your boyfriend shared anything that he'd like you to try to do or that he feels would be helpful/supportive?