Empty.

@xanaxis

Hello there, sorry to hear that you are feeling bad. Do you experience emptiness often?

How does it feel like when it happens and what areas of your life does it impact more?

Wish you to find ways that can help you coping with it.

@xanaxis

Hello, there,

I found a video which I think has a lot of helpful insights. It's from Dr. Daniel Fox on Youtube, titled BPD Boredom and Emptiness.

He talked about how boredom feeds emptiness. We can lessen the intensity of the emptiness by managing the boredom.

Avoid the BPD lens that tells you that everything is against you, that everything is gray and dreary, that pulls you into that sense of boredom and depression. Once you get into a depressive episode, it's really difficult to see the positives; to see yourself as someone who can be impactful and creative change.

Fighting off boredom is a proactive way to manage depressive symptoms and emptiness. Here are some of the ways he explained in the video:

• Avoid procrastination:
  • Procrastination is one of the things that feeds boredom. The buildup of things you have to do makes you feel overwhelmed. But, if you parse them out, it makes that makes it easier to manage, and it keeps you busy; and if you're busy, how can you be bored?
• Set SMART goals:
  • Things you have to do aren't going to be interesting all the time. How can you make those things fun? You can identify some specific goals and learn about yourself. SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, timely) goals are good goals because you're identifying, working with, and achieving those goals; so you're active and doing things.
• Change your perspective:
  • A lot of boredom is about perspective. Try to see life's tasks, others, and the world in a frame that's about learning and growing. Ask yourself when you're engaging in a situation, "What can I learn from this situation/person/etc.?" Even in boring situations, ask yourself, "What can I get out of this interaction?"
• Break habits, patterns, and routines if it's really boring:
  • They can make you feel safe, but they can also cause you to feel bored and locked into the "same-old life" and "same-old problems." Add something new, no matter how small (e.g., changing routes to work).
• Say yes to something new:
  • Maybe something you were initially afraid of; as long as it's not self-destructive or destructive to others (e.g., trying a new yoga class or a language class).
• Expand your social circle with healthy others:
  • A lot of folks with BPD build up an interpersonal circle that supports and feeds the personality disorder pattern and perspective of life (they validate the sense of emptiness, doubt, brokenness, etc. that we have). Therefore, sometimes expanding your social circle can give you other opportunities. It's scary and difficult, but not only does it expand the probability of you engaging in more adaptive behaviours, it also decreases the tendency for boredom which can trigger the sense of emptiness as well.
• Resist shame about feeling empty:
  • Everyone has those feelings from time to time; there's nothing special or unique about it. Those with BPD experience a lot of shame and feel that very often. That shame can then add to, or be connected to, the sense of emptiness. It's important to recognise that if you feel empty, it's nothing that you're doing, it's nothing that you're causing, it's a part of the BPD. There's nothing wrong with it; it's just what it is, and something you might have to (and can) just content with. Don't validate that sense of shame; try to separate that sense of shame from the emptiness.
• Recognise maladaptive behaviours:
  • Say, "When I feel empty, I do [what]." Typically, that is a maladaptive pattern; replace it with some of the points we've talked about above (on how to defeat boredom).

I hope this helps 💙

I completely understand you. This is a terrible feeling and I so wish I could give you advice but I don’t even have any for myself. I just want you to know that if you wanna talk to someone who can relate I am here. Please don’t give up

I totally feel you. same exact situation here. hugs to you ♥️