Immature Personally Disorder - IPD
Is there anyone with any experience with this disorder? I'm practically positive my husband has this (as opposed to narcissism) and it's exhausting dealing with him day in and day out. And for ten long years, now... it's like being with a three year old 10/365/12/24/7! 😳
And then there's me, with BPD, only I'm thinking there's some Paranoid Personality Disorder floating around in there, too.
Talk about the Odd Couple!
But any advice, insights, methods for dealing with this disorder (particularly when the one affected NEVER takes responsibility... It's getting SO OLD hearing "NOT MY FAULT" for the gazillionth time.)
And how do you argue with someone who's NEVER wrong? You DON'T, that's how! 😶
I'm just SOOOOOO tired...🥱...😴
CRAP! That title should have read "Personality", not "Personally"!!!
DAMN not being able to edit a post anyway! 🤬
Can a Mod or Admin fix this, please?
@blueAngel00 I Googled immature personality disorder. Apparently it's an obsolete diagnosis that has not been in use officially for many years.
However, the latest thinking (in the diagnostic manual DSM-5-TR) is that personality disorders can be difficult to classify, and the current rigid definitions of the various personality disorders may not always be helpful.
I guess that if you're effectively dealing with a three year old, then you have to use techniques of reward and punishment appropriate for training a three year old, but I realize that's easier said than done by far. And your three year old will never grow up, I suppose, almost like there's brain damage.
i once asked a therapist (in real life, not at 7 Cups) how she approached narcissistic clients, and she said she tries to find something the client wants, so that they will be willing to change their behaviour in order to get it. But she also said this doesn't often work, and most narcissistic clients don't want to change.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie that therapist is right as far as my husband is concerned. He absolutely loves his life and why wouldn't he? In his mind the world revolves around him, he has no responsibilities and therefore no consequences, and I do everything for him!
And from what I understand the difference between a narcissist and Immature personality disorder is a narcissist will intentionally do things detrimental as other people, even to the point of planning it out. Also they only love themselves. The other disorder however they are not mean spirited, and don't intentionally try to hurt people. They are able to love other people and animals inside but a stinted kind of Love, and not unselfish.
I think my husband and I have three major issues:
1) Lack of communication. He infers a LOT into what I say and only hears what he wants to hear. We really don't have any discussions. He talks to me when he has something to say, but he doesn't really listen to me. And if we do have any kind of a discourse, it usually ends up in an argument, which usually ends up in a fight.
2) He absolutely HATES sharing anything with me about his life and what's going on with him. And because I'm the way I am, I always overthink it and think he's hiding something or he's doing something behind my back or whatever. I feel rejected and hurt. And it wouldn't be so bad if he treated everyone that way but he doesn't. It's like he has an aversion to let me know what's going on about anything! Getting any information from him is like pulling teeth, but he talks very readily to other people and shares a lot of things with them and...well, it's complicated and a long story. But suffice it to say I ALWAYS think of the very worst thing possible and that's no good for anyone.
3) we fight a LOT but I think for him, the things he says in anger are more of blowing off steam for him, whereas for me, I take everything real personal, and the fights are serious in my eyes. He gets over them really fast, but I don't, not even close.
It's a wonder we've stayed together as long as we have. I don't know why, but I love him to death. If I'm away from him, within the first 5 minutes I miss him like crazy. I've tried to leave but I just can't. That song by U2 where it says "can't live with or without you" fits us to a tee. I honestly believe that he loves me but I think his version and definition of Love is very different than mine.
And you're right, treating him like a 3-year-old is useless because I can't give him a time out and if I give in the cold shoulder or anything like that it doesn't bother him in the least. Or at least he doesn't show it if it does.
I just want us to enjoy each other more, but not at my expense, which I feel happens the majority of the time.
Pretty hopeless, ha?
Lots of typos, sorry. 😕