Not self diagnosing disclaimer.
I don’t know this online thing or how it works but I’m new here and I’ve been struggling a lot with mental health and anxiety and depression for 6 years since I was 8 and mostly because of traumatic stress my life has given me and I’ve been showing big signs of it for 5 years and I can’t get a medical diagnosis because of my age and how people already treat me like an outcast because I also have social anxiety and I hate when I try to communicate but can’t because I don’t know what I’m experiencing or my own feelings and have terrible thoughts about what I’d do to myself but it’s mostly been on my mind how I’m different from my family and how they treat me because I experienced things they didn’t hav ego because I sacrificed my own life and childhood to protect my sister from my dad and have to live with this pain and trauma forever and I don’t have anyone to help me. But enough about that I just hope I can get something so I can know what’s wrong with me someday. Goodbye.
@resourcefulMoon3605
Hi, welcome. 💜
Yeah, it sounds like you went through a lot of traumatic experiences when you were younger, and you're in a somewhat safer place now but there are still lots of issues because of what happened before.
It's not only the post-traumatic stress (and anxiety/depression associated with that) but the ways in which living with that alienates you from other people. You have experiences and feelings that other people don't really understand and can't relate to. Plus social anxiety on top of that, which it makes sense that there would be fear around people if other people have caused a lot of problems.
The thing you mentioned of not knowing what you're experiencing or your own feelings: dissociation/numbness is also common with PTSD/C-PTSD. The idea re: how that happens is, if you're in a situation where the stuff that's happening is too stressful/strong to deal with, your mind/body protect you from it by distancing from it.
Even if you can't get diagnosed with certain things due to age limitations, are you able to get any help (i.e. therapy) for some of the issues you're experiencing?