Recently Diagnosed BPD 5 Months Ago

This non-stop bouncing of deleting social medias then that "30 day deactivation" period is causing my mental status a nut mentality. Cus I always come back to it and back n forth and back n forth. Then nobody wanting to talk to me ever type of thing after burning them out so much. The moment 1 person asks me "how are you doing?" I am fine for 4 hours then "oh fudge I remembered I have emotions??? what are these scary things" Suddenly pops back. So I am unsure what exactly to do about any of this... Like how do people even cope with this back and forth deleting and blocking then unblocking then rererereadding as friends?

I don't see a possible end to this. Like everytime I mentally say "okay how am I doing?" it goes into a giant fireball of anger, and I am 100% unsure why. My friends mean it in good faith(they are worried about me, and I get it) But then when I want to not delete my internet footprint, it becomes a "your annoying me, and what your doing is hurtful to our relationship." Type of thing. Someone said to me "okay, but keep me in the loop!!!" Like oh gee that's gonna do something. 1 person I left behind for 90 days and she told me "just don't delete again, that hurt me." Well, great, now i'm obligated to keep the social... So I'm at this tipping point where if I leave, I am doomed, but if I stay I am doomed. The ones that care, keep telling me to "keep them posted and don't delete." But then when I keep them informed, its this whole issue. I am not even sure where to begin with this...