Told My BF I Relapsed (TW: SH)
I relapsed in SH recently and I had to tell my boyfriend. He has a history of SH as well, so he is usually rly understanding. Well, after I told him today, he was ignoring me. I asked him if he was okay and he told me he doesn’t know what to say abt my mental health. I’m worried he’s gonna break up with me because of this. I don’t know what to do.
@persistentPlum6693
Hey, I can see how that would be unnerving having him go silent like that when he's usually really supportive. Kind of creates this anxiety of "uh oh, is he angry with me, is he going to break up with me, etc."
***
It's kind of ambiguous how he feels about all of this. I wonder whether it's more like:
1) "I'm sorry you're going through that relapse. I wish I could help but I'm not sure what to do. I don't know what to say that'll help."
2) "I don't feel much of anything. You're responsible for your own mental health. If you decide to SH, I can't really stop you and it's not in my control."
3) "I'm pretty angry/disappointed and I'm not sure I want to date you unless if you're able to get your mental health under control."
I wonder if it would be worth trying to talk further and figure out which one it is. Maybe it's either #1 or #2 but you're assuming/fearing that it's #3? (Totally understandable though since #3 would be trickier to deal with.)
@persistentPlum6693
You trusted him with such a vulnerable truth, and now you’re feeling that hollow silence. It’s painful when the person you lean on feels distant, especially when you’ve been so brave in sharing your struggle. Remember though that he’s likely processing in his own way. Sometimes those who’ve faced similar battles feel overwhelmed when it hits close to home. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t care or that he’s pulling away from you. Right now, breathe deeply and hold close the courage it took to share. You’ve taken an important step, and that’s something to honor. Maybe give him a little space, and when he’s ready, gently reach out again. Remind him that he’s not alone in his feelings either, and let him know you’re both in this together, as messy as it feels. You are so worthy of love and understanding, just as you are.
