borderline personality disorder
BPD deserves empathy, not stigma.
Recovery is possible. Hope matters.
Every behavior has a story.
Support over stereotypes.
Mental illness is not a character flaw.
Behind every diagnosis is a human being.
We don't need saving—we need understanding.
@HealingKait
Beautifully said 🥰🤗
thank you :)
@HealingKait
Well-said--people with BPD have reasons for feeling/doing what they do, and it's possible for other people to respond in ways that are supportive and don't make things worse
@QuietMagic
And we get called manipulators all the time, and it's just we've thought of most all the outcomes already and not cause we want to... I WE HAVE TO.
@HealingKait
Yeah, the word "manipulation" always felt to me like it's kind of projecting malicious intent onto something that's usually either one of two things, both of which feel normal and just need some moderation to avoid violating the rights/feelings of others:
1) Wanting something from someone else, imagining how they'll respond, and acting in a way that maximizes the chances of success
2) Having an acute stress/panic response where it's unclear what will help and just desperately trying to find the best way in the moment to make the immediate cause of the pain stop
i only saw this now, and I couldn't have said it better myself.
I'll admit it's sometimes analyzed and over thought that it Sometime feel.... unauthentic and "manipulative".
although I do think it makes our manipulation skills to another level, that's up to how we act on it.
@HealingKait
Hey, makes sense that when you're thinking about a situation from a lot of different angles and planning/predicting people's responses ahead of time like a chess game, it might feel a bit unnatural or inauthentic.
(DBT has a skill called "Cope Ahead" that's kind of connected to that, basically anticipating stressful situations and trying to work through how to handle them ahead of time when you're not super-overwhelmed or having to come up with a quick/instant response in the moment.)
https://www.7cups.com/forum/personalitydisorders/Resources_2667/Module3EmotionRegulationDiscussion5ABCPLEASECopeAheadC_273256/
How are things feeling lately compared to a couple months ago?
that's so true. our minds work so complex that they just can't understand how we we're so smart but still just can't do it. for me, it takes 80% of my energy jusst surviving the day.
prooclivitity of people with BPD is to pressure they're going to be abandoned, and then act in a such a way that makes that abandonment almozr certain.
@HealingKait
Yup, unfortunately it can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. 😢 What's the usual pattern you notice for how that tends to happen (i.e. types of situations, actions, responses)?
usually it starts with something small, like a reply taking longer than usual, someone sounding a bit different, or just seeming busy. That tiny thing can suddenly feel much bigger, and the fear of being left takes over. From there, they might overthink everything, ask for reassurance, become upset, pull away, or even end the relationship first because it feels safer than waiting to be hurt. The other person often gets overwhelmed or doesn't know how to respond, so they create some distance. Sadly, that distance feels like proof that the fear was right, even though the fear itself is often what set the whole cycle in motion. It's heartbreaking because underneath it all, it's usually not about manipulation or a lack of love—it's about trying to protect yourself from being abandoned.
@HealingKait
That makes sense 💜
1) Person A: does something (e.g. taking longer than usual to reply, less enthusiastic response)
2) Person B: interprets #1 as scary (e.g. dissatisfaction with the friendship, risk of abandonment)
3) Person B: acts based on #2 (e.g. expressing anger, asking for reassurance, withdrawing)
4) Person A: reacts to #3 (e.g. confusion, overwhelm, fear, uncertainty, anger)
5) [Repeat #'s 2-4 with increasing intensity]
So then even if Person A didn't have much discomfort or wasn't questioning the relationship at #1, there's a stronger chance that they are by the time things get to #4 (or after things have looped a few times)
@HealingKait Nice thought. I think empathy needs to be spread. BPD, ADHD, depression... they're just need someone who stands next to them even do nothing.
and next month is suicide month. we need to draw attention to it. and burn the stigma and celebrate those of us who fell so deep into despair that we attempted. but we're here. this pain has to be for. reason it HAS To and maybe that's it. normalising people feeling comfortable even discussing mental issues, they're so afraid to be judged and I don't blame them. the world is cruel