dissacociative events from abusive ex

Hewwo ive been suffering from dissassociative events the first time was in the beginning of this year after I had a stressful event happen in my house

I went to a friend after the fight and I don’t even remember going there only coming back

the stress was so much that afterwards I couldn’t tell the time of the day anymore I kept wanting to go outside cause I thought it was a sunny summer day outside but it actually was night and cold

for the rest of the week I had insane memory issues my mom had to tell me multiple times everyday that she got covid because I kept forgetting

my cognitive function plummeted I couldn’t do *** anymore

didn’t know who I was anymore I would be weirded out by mirrors cause I had no idea what I was seeing in them I just didn’t have a concept of what I was looking at

it was like I was on dr*gs, but actually i quit all drugs months earlier but everyone in my surroundings probably thought I was just high instead of going through a major mental health crisis

the stress came from anxiety of being made homeless again and it also was a lot of things from the relationship with my ex who mentally abused the *** out of me along with his family and the friends he always brought over to make fun of me

now I’m in a relationship again but I have so much trouble in it I have major self esteem issues which leads to all sorts of other issues

I had a good thing going before my ex completely ruined me ive become a truly awful and unbearable persom

im pretty sure i dated a nazi who didnt want to do anythimg but break me down and credits to him cause it worked i got kicked out of my own house i cant even explain the *** he did to me without making myself sound like the idiot

i had 0 support to get rid of him my mom had so little understanding of what i was going through that she suggested i go back to him?? xD

just kinda rambling here Oki have a good day bye