TW Sorrow and pain but unseen

trigger warning , abuse,  self harm, spiritual  

Sorrow and pain but unseen

years of smiling but within hurting

they taught us to smile even when hurting

so the smiling was a mask we wear

we smiled and acted happy even as we know what happen if not

the smile lead to being numb emotionally

we could not even tell what we was feeling

due to the secrets we held within

the sexually abuse we could not tell anyone about

the physical abuse was so deep and well hidden

verbal abuse we lived with everyday we did not even know it was abuse

yelling was all there was at home not real talking at all

emotional abuse and mental that confused us due to we was told we did not feel as we did

then told how we felt by them who were to be our caregivers

then even the spiritual abuse was there too

but two different kinds we suffered with at times

the words hurt more then the physical abuse

it was as if we did nothing right even our beliefs were wrong to them

darkness fell within our heart as they abused us in evil ways

the darkness of the haunting of the satanic like abuse at the hands of them that were to keep us safe

this lead to away to cry but not from the eyes

but from cutting and burning self to just feel something

but each drop of blood was as a tear falling too

the unseen pain the unseen crying the unseen hurting in many ways

that was the way it was but why did not one see

marks and scars all over us but no one asked why

seems as if we was invisible to everyone

still feel that way at times

even now we have this meaninglessness as to how we truly feel

years of being told we did not feel as we did

have left us scared emotionally to put it hard to even voice or even know how we feel

but most do not see the pain within it hidden deep within

still masked by actions and words at times

does anyone one really want to see that part of us at all

even in the healing journey we on we find most not want to hear what we feel

some not even believe us when we state things that have happened to us

they say if that happened you be dead or you would be crippled

but they do not know that the truth we tell we faced and lived through it

but at times the darkness within we ask self why did we not die from it all

we might never know the answer to that at all

but there is unseen wounds and unseen things from the abuse that we suffer from

disabilities , disorders medical things mental health things too

but no one really see them at all they only see the smile on our face

they only hear what they want only believe what they want to believe

but what if it was them telling things that happened to them

would not they want to be believed would they want to be heard

would they feel hurt and shame from what others did not believe happened to them

we be here but not really seen by them around us at all

we still doing the brave healing work that so very hard not for them but for us