[TW] ed (idk what to call this)

I don't like looking in the mirror but my body tells me I have to because maybe those 2 eggs and slice of avocado toast were the true tipping point for that extra pound I've been trying to shake for days.

I don't remember the taste of fried chicken but my tongue is no stranger to coffee, water, and tic tacs.

They say you can't measure happiness but my mood has become dependent on 3 numbers on a scale not the quality of my day.

I am so tired.

I am tired of checking my body every time I pass my reflection, making sure it's no different than yesterday or the last time I felt skinny.

I am tired of going to bed hungry because if I eat any more I may not like what I see in the morning.

I am tired of being cold all the time, of brushing out clumps of my hair, of counting food like it's a number because I can't have too many calories or that stupid app on my phone is gonna call me a failure.

I am tired of caring about everything you say because maybe you didn't mean “fat” when you called me “big” but now I won't eat for two days just to make sure you're wrong.

No. Go ahead. Eat your words

Because I'm not hungry.