To the last days, (tw)

Have you ever wanted to disappear,
To be lost within the air,
Where nothing binds and nothing cares,
Where all your thoughts just cease to wear?
I wanted once, I will admit,
But it’s not magic, not a gift,
A feeling comes, then fades, then lifts,
Yet in the hollow, time does drift.

It started slow, at 6:04,
A moment, a path, a tunnel’s door.
I walked too long to hide the truth,
Delaying days, defying youth.
A face I knew, a name unknown,
She smiled, and then we both had grown.
"twerp" and "fence," side by side,
In every laugh, the world could hide.

For nine months, we were each other’s heart,
But somewhere deep, we grew apart.
The tunnel’s quiet, the sky fell grey,
I searched for her, but not a word could say.
And then it came, the final blow—
The letter told me all I didn’t know.
She left for good, not far, not near,
But where her soul found peace, I fear.

I blamed myself, the mirror lied,
If only I had seen the signs,
Could I have caught her in that space,
Or would I still be in this race?
Guilt twisted with what I couldn’t fix,
Her absence an ache that wouldn’t quit.
The days moved on, but what they gave,
A world I lived but couldn’t save.

Yet now I stand, with hearts unbroken,
A truth in me, once left unspoken:
A feeling’s just a passing phase,
It fades with time, it shifts, it sways.
But what you gave, the love we shared,
Lives in my chest, it’s always there.
Those eleven days, I’ll give them back,
With every breath I’ll carry the lack.

I’ll wait in silence, by that fence,
And when it rains, I'll make amends.
For every tear you couldn't cry,
I'll speak your name; I’ll touch the sky.
For in my heart, you'll never go—
Those eleven days are yours to know.