Enemies (my first poem)
Greeted by my stubborn enemies,
Who emerge as painful, persistent memories,
I wish to no longer be an entity,
I ask one wish towards the heavenly,
That I may finally see the end of me,
And the trees to reclaim my energy,
And I bend the knee to entropy
@diligentShade426
Did you mean this is your first poem here? Surely it cannot be your first ever poem you have written? But if it is indeed so, then kudos. The rhymes you have chosen make each line feel like it is delivered with force, giving weight to the thematic elements. It exudes sadness and desperate nihilism, and makes one feel bad that anyone could be in such a predicament.
It is a very good poem, and if it is your first ever or just your first here, I hope we see more of your work.
@diligentShade426
@diligentShade426 Brilliant poem! The persistent rhyme scheme—"enemy, entity, heavenly, me, energy, entropy"—gives it a mesmerizing rhythm, pulling the reader into an almost hypnotic descent. I love how "stubborn enemies" aren’t just foes but lingering memories, making them inescapable (A fight most of us can relate to). The shift from a longing for an end to a return to nature is both haunting and strangely peaceful. And that final line—"I bend the knee to entropy" is just perfect. (Don't we all bend the knee to those Thermodynamics chapters especially the problems!?). Anyway.... Entropy is that inescapable truth—the universe will fade into cold silence, and we can’t force meaning onto the inevitable. There’s something deeply raw in that quiet surrender. Beautifully done!
@diligentShade426
Welcome to the Poetry sub community ✨🥳
A beautiful first poem which deserves praises and appreciation. Do continue writing and I’m looking forward to reading your poems.
