Lantern - a poem by me :)

When darkness seeped the room

and I became blind

I was surrounded by thoughts which dragged me further

further, into hell’s spine

My eyes which showed no emotion

contrasted with my well hidden mask

I hereby conclude, living life is no easy task.

Sleeping, wishing to never wake up

In the car (going to school), hoping it crashes and I fly back up

Then water suddenly starts pouring in

filling the room skin by skin.

Ankle-deep and I start to wonder

Is it finally time for my slumber?

Do I really have to continue fighting all the time?

Can I really just sit down and wait for water to drown the life of mine.

Knee-deep and thinking how much longer more

the pain in my head is driving me deranged and sore

my body is just so tired and displaced

I can’t really save myself now, I am a hopeless case

I cant continue fighting, how will I show my face?

The water now chest deep, holding me down and heavy

pulling me into it deeper and deeper

making me embrace its sublime, yet so dreary

my heart pounding in my chest, louder and louder

my arms failing to flop and flap, time’s moving slower and slower

my legs too weak to close the tap, water moving in faster and faster

my mind in panic for no reason at all

Didn’t I wish to di.e? Why’s fear bothering me now?

Water reaching the bottom of my face

My chest rising and falling as if I just ran a solo race

My mind screaming stop, my fear building up

my lungs heaving in and out,

water crawling up my face, making me shout

claustrophobia kicking in

now grabbing the ceiling, hoping to have gills and fin

rushing my hands all over the place

my mind screaming “no way out”

my head spinning and spiralling

closing my eyes now, no more quarrelling

It’s over, my wish is coming true

time to let go

time to let loose

I float away, losing my conscious

open my eyes and see darkness through subconscious.

There was never water

There was never drowning

There was never a trapdoor.

I spread out my hands and feel an icy metal touch

I grab it, revealing what it is: a paraffin lamp

I turn the wick, I see light lingering in its deep shadows

I feel the bottom, fuel tank still damp

The tiny flame flickers and dances

Lighting my eyes in light and war game

bringing in aurora into the black room

warming my chest from the pain inside

Soothing my temples and my emotionless stance

cleaning me free from numbness and strain

removing the gloom from my hideous pale face,

making my ears hear Disney songs on hope and faith,

allowing me to feel and crawl out of my murky hole

yellowing my spirit and broken soul,

engulfing me, comforting me, solacing me, embracing me,

accepting me, defining me, understanding me, calling me,

I’m home

I’m home.