Pieces I left..

Hi there,

This is a little poem I wrote and wanted to share hehe <3

For the pieces I left you,

For the pieces I give away to you,

For the pieces you held in your hands, like they belonged to you.

Like medals of pride, you held them tight.

Your hand bleeds, but you keep holding on in this fight. Because they are stolen, and it's hard to hold on to pieces of a girl so broken.

They were filling your palms with my shards and they will pull you and they will take you to rooms and places and you will meet new faces.

The dusted piles of trash, and amongst it sat a forgotten birthday card and because I am so lost, they know they will have to pay the cost for whats gone inside of me, I will take what they wrongfully taken away from me back.

And I will put on my rucksack, pack away, and I no longer need to say or play or mutter words.

Left of a girl emotionally and mentally scarred, and making sure she is protected and fine and be her own security guard. 

If you don’t keep your guard up dear, you might fall on your knees once again and things won’t feel the same ever again, and I wish I could explain that these thoughts never go away.

Waiting and walking and running and feeling, and being, seeing, dancing and fleeing, I just survived another day because apparently things take time.

And people say its something to be proud of, just the fact that I survived, and another day will arrive and things will all get better like they never do.

And things will never be the same as they used to be, and its so hard to explain, because of the emptiness and the deep dark pain, and they might think i’m going insane. Insane. Insane. Insane.

Insanity.

And in the gallery of my memories, you displayed them, those pieces like art, marked with my scars and maybe one day I hope they will be “ours”.

A collection of moments we used to hold, but have those moments loom above us in the bleakness of the sky.

Falling into this void, falling into this trap, I keep falling and falling but there is no denying in reality or empty hope and to pretend there are just ways to cope.

This isn’t a nightmare or a fun fair, this isn’t a game you play or things you mould out of clay, or how yesterday turns into today.

I can pretend that I am tough, or at least feel brave enough, and tie my hair, and hold this pain I bare, and at least convince myself that someone cares. 

I can appreciate the moments that I hold the most, I can be grateful and turn around, and listen to life’s beautiful sounds, and watch the birds as they sing their songs and somehow fly high.

They listen and they try, and they hear me, and time flies by and ask me why.

Why I feel this way? Why I’m angry or sad? Why I am this or that? Why do I smile or why do I laugh? Why do I scream, and why I am me?  

I can tell you all because it's not that hard, I can tell you stories that I never told you before, and tell you so much more.

The constant frustration of filling this void, something to make this pain disappear.

But it almost seems impossible to scratch and control my fears or be the one who doesn’t cry baby tears.

And those late nights where you stand and you scream and the loneliness gleams and my reflection fades.

And I pull and push, and I crawl and I fall, stand up tall, and decline the calls because I am so small for a world like the one I live in. 

And now in this wreckage, we stand, our love and beauty destroyed.

And the stolen smiles you have taken from my heart,

Left it bare in my solemn and lonely scars, 

The only thing left between me and you is that I am desperate for my pieces, yet you have taken my pride and shattered it despite.

And I’ll mend what's broken, let our courage take flight.

And leave the empty and broken shards of mine,

They aren’t mine anymore, so take them away somewhere far, and hide them in places I won’t reach, and promise me that I won’t have to face anyone ever again because that's what you and I fear the most.

@mytwistedsoul @LoveMyMoonflower @HealingTalk @ComradeRuhi

Bunny