I only see green

White screens blind me-

blue light

at 3am.

I'm bathed in the green echoing

of my own words

sent selfish and futile

in your direction.

And I should be sleeping

but when do I not

torture myself with you?

I braided your hair years ago

crying softly in prophecy.

I'm always searching for something

that isn't there.

Have you realized that yet?

Is that why you are witholding yourself from me?

To no longer be serving the delusions of an addict?

Do I frighten you? Are you full of regret?

You should just take your dream of me and shoot it out back behind the shed.

I can sense that our hands are bleeding

from all this holding on.

And I am a walking betrayal.

You should have never tried saving me in the first place.

But all of this doesn't stop me

from checking again

torturing myself in hopes of a rescue

that'll only ever

bring me down.