3 Simple Steps to Get Unstuck From the Past

"1. Identify the issues.

Make a list of three to five aspects of your life where you feel stuck and would like to see a change. The list might include a relationship, a work issue, finances, or self-care. Once you make the list, go back to each item and add a line or two that reflects what you want to change in a given area.

Get granular: In your relationship, do you want more passion? What does that look like? More fun? When doing what? At work, do you want more autonomy? More flexibility to work from home? What do you want your typical day to look like?

If you’re unsure about how you'd like to change a particular item on your list, repeat the magical question, focused on a specific issue.

2. Narrow your focus.

Now that you have your list of life areas you’d like to change choose just one that resonates with you the most. Or rank the items in order of importance and choose the one that feels most urgent. Write about why you want to see change in that particular area of your life.

Complete these sentences:

1. What makes that issue so important to me is __________.

2. Making a meaningful change in this area will make me _____________.

3. This change fits with my vision for myself to _____________. This step will help you clarify why this matters to you.

3. Write a letter to yourself.

Imagine yourself one year from now. Write yourself a letter from your one-year-later perspective about the changes you made in the life area you chose. Assume you were successful in making a difference, and congratulate yourself. How did you address any concerns you currently have about making a change? Describe how you overcame any challenges. High-five yourself for working hard, for staying focused, for not letting others’ doubts sow doubts in your own mind and heart – you did that!

Be specific about the steps you took each day, each week, or each month to bring your change to fruition. Let's say your focus was self-care. Perhaps you lowered your stress by adding acts of self-care to your calendar so you would not miss your "appointments." Or you mapped and pursued a strategy to trade a soul-sapping job for more meaningful work.

When you're done, review your letter. Consider what feelings come up as you read your words to yourself. What are you curious about? What do you feel in your body? What changes might you want to make as a result of your writing? Take a few minutes more to write about about about your self-reflection. This might be your road map for your first steps toward change."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

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If you liked this article, please feel free to read "Leaving Pain Behind"