3 Tips to Help You Move Past a Failed Relationship
Here’s how to not let the ones that got away drag you down.
KEY POINTS
- Failed relationships often have their own successes. Perhaps you learned something about yourself or developed a new hobby.
- Past relationships can be used as a catalyst for change and self-growth.
- All of life’s relationships are meaningful, so don’t give romance more due than it deserves.
"Many people come to therapy because they are hurting from a relationship that didn’t end well. They may say things like “I wish I could go back in time to make things turn out differently” or “I don’t know how I’ll be able to survive without them in my life.”
But the truth is that we all have an incredible ability to bounce back from even the hardest splits. Here are three techniques you can use to counteract the sting of a failed relationship.
1. Failure is in the eye of the beholder
The term ‘failed relationship’ is a misnomer. Sure, relationships might not work out as we had hoped, but that doesn’t make them failures. Unfortunately, our brains have a tendency to categorize people, events, and things into concrete, black-and-white categories. It helps us make sense of the messy, information-overloaded world we live in.
Do your best to avoid assigning value judgments to your past relationships, like saying ‘X’ was a success or ‘Y’ was a failure. Instead, accept the nuance that can be found in past relationships and learn from every experience, the good ones and the bad ones.
2. Use past relationships as a catalyst for change
Two things can happen after we experience a failure or setback. We can:
- Disengage from future opportunities for self-improvement
- Lean in and use the failure as fuel for self-growth
Try your best to follow step two. If you’re having difficulty finding the motivation to get back on your feet after a bad breakup, therapy can help. Often, what a mental health professional will help you discover is that you’re taking on far too much self-blame for the course of events that led to the split.
3. Don’t give romance more due than it deserves
It’s also important to keep in mind that all of life’s relationships are meaningful. So, when we talk about ‘failed relationships,’ it doesn’t have to mean a failed romance. We can experience career breakups or family rifts that affect us just as deeply as a lost romance.
Moreover, when we experience a bad breakup, we can find comfort in the relationships we share with family members, friends, and co-workers. So, be cautious not to put your love life on such a pedestal that you alienate your other close relationships. (By the same token, be careful not to alienate your romantic partner by investing too much in other relationships.)"
Read the full available article on Psychology Today
Reflection: Do you use any of these three ways to deal with a break-up? Or do you have another way to get past a break-up or a failed relationship?
#Relationships #Change #Failure
@professionalVision2624
I think I have used the second one!: As a catalyst for change!
I've used break-ups as a way to take time to focus on myself and focus on some self-improvement!
Thanks for the article! 💛✨
@innateJoy9602
Yes I agree! Change can really make it easier to move past failed relationships! Thank you so much for commenting!
