3 Ways to Filter Your Friends
"Thirty-six percent of Americans say they are “seriously lonely.” For many, the solution may seem to be to go out and get more friends.
Yet one study shows that less is more when it comes to friendships. “Loneliness has less to do with the number of friends you have and more to do with how you feel about your friends,” study author Wändi Bruine de Bruin, Ph.D., of the University of Southern California, said. “If you feel lonely, it may be more helpful to make a positive connection with a friend than to try and seek out new people to meet.”
Here are three intelligent ways to guide your friendship choices.
Define What “Being A Good Friend” Means
Which of those two people do you find yourself reflected in? Would you be annoyed if a friend checked their phone while spending time with you, or would you be the person checking their phone out of fear that someone needs you? Other values we might seek in our friends (and in ourselves) include kindness, generosity, and being a good listener. Spend a few minutes figuring out what being a good friend means to you so you can fulfill that role and find it in other people.
Seek Friends With Mutual Values
Sometimes our values change. While our friends don’t always need to have the same values as we hold, it’s important that our friends make us better rather than hold us back. It’s important to note that we don’t always have to agree with our friends. Values are not synonymous with viewpoints. You can maintain friendships with people who don’t share your politics, for instance—as long as you both share the values of seeking understanding, keeping an open mind, and arguing constructively.
Book Time With Your Most Important Friendships
We must pick friends who have as much interest and time to put into the relationship as we do. When it comes to relationships, as with many things in life, consistency is more powerful than intensity. Overall, having just a few good friends is better than having many superficial ones. You can take all that time you would have spread among an extensive network and invest it in the people who really matter to you. Don’t be afraid to filter out the friends who don’t fit your values and keep the ones who can make time for you. You, and your relationships, will be stronger for it."
Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!
Reflection:
What are the values you look for in a good friend?
@comfortableNight4463
Nice article!
For me I look for people who are understanding, dependable and reliable! 💛💫
